The perception among teens (and their parents) is that where you go to college is the most important determinant for future success. In fact, a whole cottage industry of college prep has sprung up around this concept, with specialized tutoring, camps, publications, consultants, and ACT/SAT prep classes. But according to research, the Ivy League mythology is just that, a myth.

In his book, Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be, Frank Bruni cites research showing the majority of American-born CEOs of the top 100 Fortune 500 companies did not attend elite universities, and there was no pattern in where they went to school. The Platinum Study by Michael Lindsay studied 550 American leaders, including 250 top CEOs, and he found more than two-thirds graduated from non-elite schools. This finding is consistent whether you are talking about Pulitzer Prize winners or leaders in the fields of science and engineering. Many studies have documented where you go to college has little predictive value for future earnings or levels of well-being.

We need to focus young people on a different model: It’s not where you go to college that matters, it’s how you go to college. How well do you use what the university offers, and what do you demand of it? The important thing is to focus on using these years to come of age, bust out of your comfort zone, create fresh outlooks on life, and draw strength and confidence from navigating new experiences and connecting with diverse people.

I discourage grads from simply reproducing their high school experience with the same kinds of friends and activities. Be open to change, and approach the college process with excitement, not anxiety. Let go of the regimented, linear path to success and instead, create your own story.

Finally, why you are choosing a college is more important than where you end up. The American Freshman 2011 survey showed that 73 percent of freshmen had ‘making more money’ as a very important goal, up from 42 percent in the 1960s. Is the drive to be accepted into an elite college really just a pursuit of getting rich? If so, it’s important to know that people driven by externals like that end up less happy and fulfilled than those motivated by reasons like finding a purposeful career and making a difference.

In the end, what really matters is who you are, not what you have. The college experience should be more about making good citizens than making careers. Graduates should emerge as people who are original thinkers, problem solvers and creative risk-takers.

Just as you can’t measure a high school student by GPA or test scores, you also can’t evaluate a college grad by the school they attended or their grades. What is harder to measure, but far more important, is a young adult’s level of grit, engagement, optimism, integrity, people skills, street smarts, stamina and determination. If developing these qualities in our offspring is our intention, then we need to change how we groom them for college.

Tim Jordan, M.D., is a Behavioral Pediatrician who specializes in counseling girls ages 6 through college. For more information, visit drtimjordan.com.