I have a dirty little secret: I’m a nail biter. I also pick at my nails and munch on my cuticles. It is gross and embarrassing. I may be 54 years old chronologically, but I have the nail biting habits of a 5-year-old.

I have tried everything to stop. You know that gross-tasting stuff you paint on your nails to prevent you from biting? I developed a liking to the taste. Tips or gel manicures? Just more for me to pick off. Regular manicures? Waste of money. I’ve managed to stop smoking, drinking (assuming we count the times I was pregnant) and a variety of other habits, but I could never control this one.

My last hope was hypnosis. I wanted to change the way my brain worked. My idea of hypnosis was totally based on what I saw on television. It included someone swinging an object in front of my eyes and saying, You are getting sleepy, very sleepy. At that point, I would fall into a trance and the hypnotist would be able to manipulate me into doing anything, right? Bark like dog? Sure. Commit a crime? Absolutely. Enjoy nature? Without a doubt! As you might suspect, what I learned about hypnosis from my television wasn’t exactly accurate.

I made an appointment to see Joan Krueger, a certified hypnotherapist with an office in Kirkwood. She explained that hypnosis does not place people in a trance but in a relaxed state where their subconscious mind is susceptible to suggestions. Since you are awake during the process, you won’t do anything that challenges your moral compass or values. Joan and I spent some time discussing my nail biting, why and when I do it, and how I felt about it. It was a little bit like a therapy session but without the need to revisit my childhood or teenage angst.

Joan then turned on some music and in a very soothing voice started talking to me. I cannot stress the soothing part. I really can’t remember what she said but it sounded so nice and calm. Now, I must admit that during this process, Bad Patty popped into my head. You know, the part of you that doesn’t really want to believe that something is going to work. So even while Joan was talking to me, Bad Patty was thinking, This is bogus, I can hardly wait to get into the car and bite that hang nail right off. Do people really believe in this stuff?

Once my session was over, I was totally relaxed but Bad Patty was still in my brain just waiting to get in the car for a little fingernail biting. As I pulled out of the parking lot and moved my hand toward my mouth, a thought popped into my head: That’s gross and disgusting. And down my hand went. I couldn’t do it. I stopped and got a manicure and assumed that once the polish started peeling, I would have at it. Not so. I just kept hearing the words ‘gross and disgusting,’ which was how I had described my habit to Joan.

So does hypnosis work? It did for me, even with Bad Patty making an appearance. I am however, someone as my teachers use to say, who is “easily influenced by others,” which in this case is great because I have not bitten my nails in over a month.

Photo: Bill Barrett

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