In recent months, I experienced some hateful people spreading lies online about my family for the first time as an adult. I was up all night for days on end. I was devastated that someone could so easily take to the internet and type up absolutely anything they wanted without knowing the facts or ever having met us. Although I have been aware of cyber bullying, it was my first personal experience with how crazy people can be on the internet and how far from basic human respect and social skills we have gotten.
We are all glued to our phones and the cyber world. It’s easy to think what we say online doesn’t matter or really affect people. We never have to meet face to face and have real-life conversations with people over these issues, so we feel free to express our thoughts and feelings without repercussions. As an adult, I was upset for days but then I remembered no online keyboard warriors can change my character. I sucked it up and moved on. After all, things on the internet fade away.
But for kids and teens, it’s not that simple. A mean comment on the internet feels like the world to them. Even if it’s a harmless rumor or a misjudgment, they can’t always recover. The statistics of this don’t lie. We can’t change everything or get rid of the internet, but as moms, we have the ability to intervene and make some change—even if it’s a small one in our own home.
Along with instilling confidence in our kids and creating a safe place for them to talk to us about stuff they are going through, I am now so aware of how important it is for me to teach my kids how to act online. I want to teach my kids to be brave enough and humane enough to confront issues face to face. They should never just take to the internet to vent their feelings about other people or share things they wouldn’t want someone to share about them. That’s the easy way out. I wish more adults understood this.
In my own miniscule situation, I mustered up enough courage to confront one of the people who posted about us. Although we never came to an agreement, she thanked me for having the courage to say something. It definitely brought peace and a little more understanding between us.
How many kids could be saved if we as adults set a better example for the next generation? Instead of rushing to our keyboards when we feel upset, we need to first attempt to talk to people. What if we got back to personal conversations instead of public ones? With the internet ever expanding, I think a new goal in motherhood will be to teach my kids to always prioritize relationships and communicate the hard stuff with people face to face and off the internet. I hope I teach them to always think about the person on the other end of everything they write online, and I hope somehow in this intense digital age, we get back to humanity and realize the power of real conversations.
It is never lost on me how we can overcome the failings of society by starting at home and instilling good character in our own kids. Maybe we actually can change the world, one real conversation at a time.
—XO Katelyn
Katelyn Young is a local mom of four (her #crumblycrew) who shares real moments of motherhood as it relates to fashion, food and fun! Follow her on Instagram @_katelynyoung_ or follow her blog at thebejuledlife.com.