In 2016, cigarette, alcohol and pot use by teenagers were at their lowest levels since 1975. But a new wrench has been thrown into the mix with legalized marijuana, raising concerns about its effect on teens. The view that regular use is not harmful is on the rise with youth; and many parents are still allowing high-schoolers to drink in their homes.
First, kids need more education. The unfinished teenage brain has an increased reward drive and an enhanced dopamine release, causing teens to gravitate toward thrills and risky behavior. It also leaves adolescents with an increased susceptibility to addictions, and the earlier they start, the more likely they are to become addicted. Early and frequent marijuana use has been found to have a significant negative effect on the brains of teenagers and young adults, including cognitive decline, poor attention and memory, and decreased IQ by up to eight points. These facts might have a sobering effect on their laissez faire attitude that “pot is less harmful than drinking.”
As for adults turning a blind eye to alcohol consumption on their premises, I suggest parents never allow it. Beyond the obvious legal risks, it gives teens the impression that it’s OK to drink. Too many teenagers use these get-togethers to get wasted and build up the courage to hook up sexually. If your child comes home drunk, I suggest staying calm, not overreacting. The next day, use it as an opportunity to discuss their social lives. Ask why they are drinking: to fit in? Escape problems? Numb out? Overcome social awkwardness? Or just as a way to try out something that seems more adult and cool? Give them some education, help them find healthier alternatives to the above reasons, and reset your boundaries.
Finally, model, model, model good behavior. They are watching you like a hawk, so whatever you want them to emulate, live it out. Many kids see their parents overdrinking at parties and family gatherings, and then driving home drunk. When my kids were young, I made a point of never drinking, not even a single drink, if I was getting behind the wheel. I wanted to be able to look them in the eye when they were 16 and remind them that they had never seen me drink and drive, and I expected the same from them.
Don’t give in to temptations to be one of the ‘cool’ parents. When it comes to alcohol and drugs, kids need a strong parent, not a friend.
Tim Jordan, M.D., is a behavioral pediatrician who specializes in counseling girls ages 6 through college. He recently launched an online video parenting course, Taking Flight: Everyday Parenting Wisdom to Help Girls Soar. For more information, visit drtimjordan.com.