Dads have a unique role to play in raising confident, successful and amazing kids. Despite some similarities with moms, there are many unique qualities that dads bring to parenting.
First of all, there are many benefits to having an involved father in the home. Compared to father-absent homes, kids struggle less financially, perform better in school, abuse alcohol and drugs less, are less likely to be sexually active as teenagers and experience fewer mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. In addition, girls who grow up in a home without a dad tend to enter partnerships earlier, are more likely to divorce or dissolve their cohabiting unions and are more likely to have children outside a partnership.
So, how are dads different in what they bring to parenting? The following are a few examples of the many ways dads are unique. Dads are famous for changing nursery rhyme verses, keeping kids on their toes and sparking their imaginations. They love to tease and banter with their kids, which toughens them up, teaches them how to not take things so personally, helps them gain a sense of humor, makes them more comfortable with peers and aids them in being more independent and confident.
Compared to most moms, dads do a good job teaching kids to handle conflicts directly. Fathers tend to be more direct with discipline, preparing them for the real world where people won’t be able to read their minds and anticipate their every need like moms do. Dads also allow children to solve problems and make decisions based on what they feel is right. Rough and tumble play with dads helps kids become more assertive, competitive, confident and self-assured. Finally, fathers are good at encouraging their kids to stretch, take risks and experience adventures.
Let me offer some important ways for dads to connect with their kids. Be fully present, be a good listener who doesn’t quickly revert to fix-it mode, model healthy relationships by how you treat them and their mom, respect their boundaries and stop when they say no, focus on non-physical qualities like integrity, passion, leadership and determination. Teach them to be image and media savvy, show them the difference between being aggressive versus assertive and connect over their interests. If you want to remain an influence in their life, share your own stories of your experiences at their age so they know you really can understand what they’re going through.
Finally, most little children look up to their dad as their hero, and the best way to live that out is to form a truly loving and supportive relationship with them. The bond between father and child can influence their self-esteem, future relationships and career success. So, be there for them as only you as a dad can.
Tim Jordan, M.D., is a behavioral pediatrician who works with girls in grade school through college. Check out his new online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need, at drtimjordan.com.