I bet most of you completed those numbered dot drawings as kids. The ones where you’d look at a page full of dots and have no idea what the final picture would become. So, you’d start connecting the dots, one, two, three, four and so on. After a while, an image would start to emerge from the dots, and by the last point, you could clearly see the picture. It didn’t matter that you had no clue at the start about what the final depiction would be. If you persisted in connecting dots, an image would evolve.
I use these drawings as a metaphor for life and finding your direction and purpose. Dots are any experiences that cross your path that you seem drawn to because it seems like it would be fun, because your gut is telling you to or because it just feels like the right thing to do at the time. Dots can look like a lot of things: a class, a job, volunteer work, traveling, reading a biography, joining a club or group, trying a new activity or having a cup of coffee with someone you find interesting. You trust your gut, experience the dot, and over the months and years, the dots start to connect and the picture of your life slowly emerges. With each dot you learn a new skill, learn about your interests, strengths, aptitude and passions. This growing self-knowledge builds your identity capitol and leads you to your purpose. Learning things is often less important than learning about yourself.
I tell young people that they don’t need to be so stressed out about knowing what college they will attend, their major or their career path. I encourage them to interview every adult they bump into and ask them if they knew when they were young adults what they are presently doing for their career. Most grownups had no clue and zig-zagged their way to their calling. Interestingly, you don’t need to connect the dots, they do that on their own without us having to force it. I want us all to value detours, breadth of experience, experimentation, sampling and our intuition.
That is how your life path can emerge as well. Set an intention this year to be open to dot experiences and to trust the urges that call to you. In this way, the picture of your life will slowly but surely evolve, one seemingly unconnected experience at a time. Yield to the current of life, unencumbered by cultural conditioning, external pressures and popular opinion.
Tim Jordan, M.D., is a behavioral pediatrician who works with girls in grade school through college. Check out his new online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need, at drtimjordan.com.