I drove 20 hours to the Florida Keys with my daughter and husband, who both drive as if they are trying to qualify for the Indy 500. I sat in the backseat with the two dogs, boxed in with suitcases and everything else so my view was purposely obstructed. At the beginning of our journey, the sensors that alert the driver she is too close to other vehicles went off quite a bit. Other cars were honking and giving us the finger as we passed by. In the end, even the car sensors gave up. They no longer just beeped, they talked: “Are you kidding me?!” “Are you trying to get us killed?” “That was an ignorant move.” Car technology is amazing these days.
In our family, the driver gets to pick the music. My daughter likes country. To me, country music is what I heard on Hee Haw. Feel free to mock; I am way behind the times. As I listened, much of it had the same theme. Hearts are broken, cowboys are involved, everyone drinks shots of Jack Daniels, and people drive away in pickup trucks. Hmm. This did not seem right. Let’s start with cowboys.
In my early 30s, I read a book by Pam Houston titled Cowboys Are My Weakness. I reread it every few years. Yes, I know most people reread the classics, but not me. That book and Valley of the Dolls are my go-to classics! But here’s the deal with cowboys: They only live in places like Texas, Oklahoma or New Mexico, you know, where there is livestock to tend. So just because a man has a cowboy hat doesn’t make him a cowboy. I think that before you fall in love with a cowboy, you should make sure they can ride a horse.
Now, let’s talk about Jack Daniels. A long time ago when I didn’t know any better, I would drink Jack and coke. Then I visited the Jameson distillery in Ireland, and my life changed. At the end of the tour, we did a taste test between Jack, Johnnie and John Jameson, and Jameson won. So, I tried again. Jameson won again. Every time I visit Ireland, Jameson wins.
When did pickup trucks become the vehicle of choice for so many people? We always had them around when I was a kid because my dad owned a roofing company. They were nothing fancy, manual transmission, unpleasant to drive and often did not have radios. (OMG. Was my dad just cheap and get the pickup with no extras?) Anyway, I am always surprised when I see someone drive a pickup truck if they don’t need it for work or don’t own a farm. What are they hauling? I drive my husband crazy at Home Depot when I point out the pickups that just seem too clean. Be leery of men with clean pickup trucks.
So, I am working on a song that includes an actuary who broke my heart, a couple of shots of Jameson and me realizing that at my age, I should head straight to bed. I think I have a No. 1 hit on my hands! Now, I have to decide whether to send it to Miranda or Carrie.