I can’t sleep, rather, I can’t stay asleep. Falling asleep is never a problem, but around 2:30 a.m., I wake up and start thinking. It’s unusual because I love sleep. I like to get a good eight or nine hours, more if I can. I love my bed, my PJs, and watching Savannah and Hoda when I wake up to start the day. But this waking up in the middle of the night is troublesome. Oh, and the first person who suggests it is menopause related will get a visit from me where I will say nothing but will punch you in the arm just like I do to my brothers when they say something I don’t like.
So, having spent a good bit of money going to therapists for my other afflictions like OCD and anxiety, I’ve decided to diagnose my sleep problem myself. Let’s start with any new medications. I’ve had a recurrence of shingles. It happens to about 35 percent of the population. The luck of the Irish! I checked the side effects of the medication. That’s not it. Apparently, though, I should not be operating heavy machinery while taking it. Looks like no driving a bulldozer for me. Isn’t there a place somewhere that adults can drive heavy machinery while supervised? If not, I have a business idea! Oh, and this year, when you get your flu vaccine, ask about the shingles vaccine. Seriously, if you are over 50, you are the target market. You don’t want to get shingles once, much less twice.
Are political issues and the mid-term elections making me sleepless? Well, I sent my daughter and all of her roommates who are from different states the forms needed to request absentee ballots. My daughter bought stamps and envelopes. I’ve found people who had not registered to vote and got them to register. Do I want to influence who these people vote for? Absolutely! Will I try? Nope. They are all smart and can make up their own minds.
Is it the Supreme Court nomination? By the time you read this column, it will be resolved. I don’t agree with Brett Kavanaugh’s opinions on anything, but I do understand the pain of people looking into his past behavior. One of the reasons I could never pursue political office is that I’m afraid of people popping up and saying, “When we were 17, we used to go over to the east side and …” or, “One night, she got up on the table …” You get my drift. (Although let me state unequivocally, sexual assault is never OK, even if you are black-out drunk and a stupid teenage boy.) I would try to disclose all of my past indiscretions, but I know I don’t remember them all and they truly would embarrass my kids. Like this column often does.
Is it that a good man got shot in a carjacking not too far from my house? Heartbreaking and unnecessary. I am pretty sure the outcome would have been the same even if he had been armed. Guns. Can we ever have a constructive conversation about what they are doing to our city, well actually lots of cities, without people demanding that the second amendment allows them to carry them whenever and wherever they wish? Hmm. After writing all of this, I realize I may never sleep again! Or wait, maybe now that I have gotten it all off my chest, I will start sleeping like a baby. Oops, I hope my list doesn’t keep you up at night. Sorry!
Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.