I have an unhealthy fascination with celebrities. Not just any, though, only those who are from St. Louis. Since they are from here, I feel like they belong to me in a way, you know, kind of like the Cardinals do. When Jenna Fischer first started appearing on The Office, I was thrilled. We went to the same high school and even though we are 20 years apart in age, I assumed that if I ever ran into her in Hollywood, I would merely need to break into the school song, “To Nerinx Hall goes the song that I sing …” and she would invite me to lunch.
Andy Cohen’s sister lives one street away from me, so I assume one of these days I will run into him in New York and say, “Funny thing, Andy. I live in Claverach Park, too.” And he will respond, “Can I buy you another vodka and soda, or do you want a Bud Light?” And we will chuckle at the St. Louis reference. Then he will tell me what he really thinks about Bethenny Frankel. I mean, the list goes on and on of people for me to dream up my fake encounters with: John Goodman, Jon Hamm, Meghan Edmonds, Tom Sandoval, David Giuntoli, Sterling K. Brown, Nelly and of course, Ellie Kemper.
Ellie is my favorite. Why, you ask? Because she has red hair and appears to be slightly clumsy … just like me, except I am more than ‘slightly.’ I was very excited when her new book My Squirrel Days downloaded to my Kindle (I had pre-ordered it, of course). I was heading to Florida, so this meant I could read it all in one sitting while slathered in sunscreen on a lounge chair at the beach, trying to forget about the dermatologist’s warning that I really shouldn’t be getting any more sun or she’ll just have to keep cutting things off. But that’s a story for another day and quite honestly, the sun damage was done years ago when I used baby oil as my protectant.
You may not be aware, but I am the book reviewer for Town&Style. This does not come with any special privileges. No one sends me books to read or review early, and I am not an Amazon preferred reviewer (primarily because I can’t figure out how to become one). But I read and review whatever I want. And sometimes, I even use my entire column to tell you to go read a book. And that is what I am doing right now. I want you to read this book of essays from Ellie Kemper. Not because she is from St. Louis, or because she has red hair and is slightly clumsy, but because she is funny. And it’s never at anyone else’s expense. She laughs at herself and the situations she finds herself in, and she acknowledges how lucky she is to have such a supportive family. It is the book you should give the person on your holiday list who needs a little cheering up or the kid who wants to make it big in Hollywood. Or just gift it to yourself because it will make you happy.
And please don’t email me your thanks. I will be far too busy figuring out my fake meet and greet with Ellie. I just have to come up with an opening line because I hate squirrels.
Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.