It has finally happened. I have been trained to respond to the ring of a bell,like Pavlov’s dogs. As soon as my phone dings, I drop whatever I’m doing, hunt for my phone and see who has sent me a text. Imagine my disappointment when it’s just a reminder to make an appointment for the dentist or an update about my data usage. What has happened to me? To all of us?
The New York Times recently wrote on op/ed on what phones have done to our ability to have face-to-face conversations. And a 2015 study by the Pew Research Center showed 89 percent of people used their phones at their last social gathering (the other 11 percent are liars). OK, I made the last part up. It has always been a balancing act at cocktail parties, what with managing a drink, a small plate of food and conversation. But now you also have to keep an eye on the cell phone while trying to chat. (What if you miss a text?)
I was a little late adapting to the iPhone. As a matter of fact, it was a bit of a joke among my friends that I couldn’t text. Now, I can write an entire gospel in
one text and then wonder impatiently why someone has not responded within 30 seconds. I want and need immediate gratification. So what started me down this slippery slope? Blame Facebook, I finally joined when I got tired of not being part of the conversations that started with, “Did you see what so and so posted on Facebook?” No, because I wasn’t on Facebook! This statement was usually met with a look of horror—as if I had just said I didn’t know how to drive a car or thought puppies were ugly. So one afternoon, I sat down and joined Facebook, and the world took on a new brightness. People I forgot I knew popped up, asking if I wanted to accept their friend request. I was the most popular girl in town. I found myself looking at their posts and pictures, making comments, adding my ‘like’ to all the other ‘likes.’ I was reconnecting with old friends.
But then it became an addiction. When I was away from my computer, how would I know what my friends were doing? I needed a way to be in constant contact. Then I got an iPhone. All of a sudden, I could check Facebook, Instagram, tweet and keep up-to-date on what each and every one of my friends and family members was doing. How great was this? I also could take quizzes on Buzzfeed to find out my favorite color. (Even though I know it’s green, it was nice to have it verified by a major news source.) And I could do all this while texting my friends. The irony is I found myself doing this even when I was with my friends—and to make matters worse, my posture can now be considered hunched.
I know I can’t just ‘quit’ my iPhone: our love runs far too deep. But from this day forward, I will keep my phone in my purse and not take it out while having face-to-face conversations with real people; this includes cashiers at the grocery store, my family and friends. No more side glances to see if I have gotten any new texts, and I am going to limit my Facebook checking to two times a day. OK, four at the most. Remember, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
[Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com .]