It started innocently, as so many of these things do. A quick glance at Starbucks, and the next thing I knew, I was sitting in my car, hands shaking as I unwrapped the glistening, flaky, chocolate croissant. It was as tasty as it looked. It grew to be a habit I knew I had to stop, so I avoided Starbucks. But then the pastry was waiting for me at Whole Foods, begging me to take it home. I simply couldn’t say no. I grew embarrassed by my weakness and hid all the evidence of my addiction … until it showed up on my thighs and stomach. A rational person would just stop eating the chocolate croissants. But would there be a Patty Unleashed column if I was a completely rational person?
My first attempt at ridding myself of cellulite was using a device I saw on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. The women used the Ashley Black Fascia Blaster, so I bought one. I would need to rub this hard, plastic device with claws aggressively across my thighs to break up the fascia that supposedly causes unsightly cellulite. You see, my problem was not the croissants. It was simply a structural factor that I could fix with this newfound tool! My review? First, it hurt—really bad. Second, it didn’t work and now sits next to my Shake Weight that was supposed to give me thinner, leaner arms. As you might have guessed, the As Seen on TV section of any store is my favorite! Perhaps I also shouldn’t look to Kim and Khloe for advice.
During a facial with Susie Lynch at Women’s Laser Center of St. Louis, I was lamenting my new doughy spots, the ones created by my new addiction and that I never can get rid of no matter how much I exercise. My weight is in the ‘normal range,’ but I still have stuff (I guess I should call it what it is: fat) that pops up in all the wrong places. Susie told me about a laser treatment called SculpSure that targets stubborn fat on your thighs or love handles. Why not try it I thought? After all, it only takes 25 minutes. A device is strapped to your ‘problem area,’ and the laser starts with a blast of cold and gradually warms up (to the point where you are pretty sure your skin is going to burn) before getting cold again. Since Susie was with me the entire time, she kept my mind off the cycling between hot and cold as the laser did its work. It was uncomfortable, but I didn’t curse or scream. The laser dissolves the fat, and I noticed a difference in six weeks. Some people may need a second treatment. Susie took before and after pictures, which I will not share because no one really wants to see me in my underwear, but it worked! My love handles shrank, and my pants feel a bit looser.
I know this whole thing could have been avoided if I had just stopped eating those chocolate croissants, but it was an addiction. I did kick my habit and have replaced it with a nice piece of biscotti, which has a lot less calories. And yes, when I head into Starbucks, I still hear the siren’s song from the chocolate croissant calling my name, but sometimes you just have to walk away, even from those you once loved.
Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.