Patty Unleashed: 3.20.24

I am “in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight!” Actually, I am in the Florida Keys with a Publix Grocery Store less than a mile away, but even so, it sometimes feels like a jungle. You see, while this snowbird appreciates the fact I can avoid the cold weather in St. Louis, it comes with some costs.

Whoever said doing something you are a little rusty at is just like riding a bike is a big fat liar. Yes, a liar. I was very excited when I arrived and a new bookstore had popped up. I love bookstores. There is just something about the way they smell and the hopeful feeling that you get when you gaze at all the choices. So, I decided I would bike down the road. Easy peasy! I knew I should have given up when I couldn’t get the initial start you need with one foot on the pedal. But I went for it and crashed right in the middle of the road. Just at that time a very nice man in a golf cart stopped to help me get the bike off my laid out body. His first question: “Ma’am, do you need an ambulance?” With that question, any shred of dignity I had was gone. I had fallen, and I couldn’t get up! Nothing was bruised or broken—just my spirit of adventure. The nice 30-something who I am sure went home and called his mother and told her to stay off bikes, lifted the bike off me and then hoisted me to the standing position. He was very concerned. I was very mortified.

So I walked to the bookstore and somehow managed, in my confused state, to buy a young adult novel. Oh, and I read it and believe me when I say the angst we all had as teenagers still exists. Romance did win in the end.

The next day as I was reading about the problems of my teenage characters, I noticed Stan, our dog, prancing around the yard. This could mean only one thing: Stan caught a critter. Sadly, the Keys has a problem with invasive species, and Stan had a live one to come show me. I screamed at Stan to put the poor slimy lizard down but quickly realized Stan does not listen to me. Never has, unless I have some sort of food. As I chased Stan and the captured lizard around the yard, the only thing I could do was entice Stan with about four huge Milk-Bones. The lizard was dropped, and Stan snacked away. The next day, the same lizard was found again by Stan hiding by the trash cans. Carey was home so I am not quite sure of the resolution other than me declaring it wasn’t my problem. Carey is so much better with critter invaders.

The weather has been terrific. Not too hot and only a couple of days for long pants so I apologize for complaining. I’ve been doing a lot of walking and really am struck by how beautiful the very southern part of Florida is … critters and all. I am heading home soon to enjoy the lovely St. Louis spring so the next column will be from my home there. I am going to enjoy the last few weeks in the sunshine. Peace my peeps!

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