Mental illness is not something many people feel comfortable talking about, unless of course you’re me and tend to overshare! So, to kick off May, which is Mental Health Awareness month, I thought I would take you down my crazy little rabbit hole. Maybe it will make you a bit more sensitive with things you say. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the theme for the month is #curestigma, so let’s try. I’ve always found my weirdly wired brain pretty entertaining and hope you do, too.
I have obsessive compulsive disorder, OCD for short. No, I do not repeatedly wash my hands, touch door knobs or perform other ritual-like tasks, but some people do. Instead, I have hyper-focused, repetitive thoughts. Here’s the good news: If you are an employer, you want me as an employee because, regardless of the problem, I will solve it because I can’t stop thinking about it until I do. It is impossible for me to turn my mind off. I never forget to do things, I remember people’s names and yes. I am very organized. But it is exhausting because when you can’t fix something, you worry. I often tell my kids not to worry about anything because I worry enough for the entire family. When I hear someone say, “Oh, I am a bit OCD” while fluffing a pillow or straightening a picture frame, I want to punch them because it diminishes the struggle people with OCD have each day.
My mind has always been like this, but I didn’t realize everyone’s wasn’t until I was in my 20s. I sought medical attention, and through a combination of therapy and medication, I function just like normal people. But there is a stigma associated with problems in your brain. People who are trying to be helpful (I mean, they can’t purposely be trying to annoy me, can they?) often suggest I just learn how to relax. Or take up a new tapping therapy their brother’s sister’s cousin once did. Or eliminate gluten, sugar and all green foods from my diet. I get it, you think you can fix me, but you can’t. I am the way I am and if I wasn’t, well …
• I would not be able to sit down and write a column each and every week about the most random topics.
• I would not be able to find humor in situations that can be painful, like a parent’s death or the crazy world of politics.
• I would not be the go-to person for friends and family for every disease they think they might have because I have had them all—well, not really, but I’ve researched them as if I did.
• I would not be the organizer of family gatherings, address lists and birthday reminders since I keep all of those details stored away in my head and feel compelled to share them.
My weirdly wired brain is what makes me, me and when I lay awake at night with too many thoughts in my head, I try to remember OCD is not necessarily the gift that keeps on giving, but more like an itch that occasionally needs to be scratched. If you know someone who struggles with OCD, anxiety, depression or bipolar disorder, please remember that they aren’t their disease. Their disease is just part of who they are. Too preachy this week? I will try to do better next week. I always do.
Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.