A part of me has always wanted to be a gossip columnist. Primarily so I could use bold type whenever I thought something was really important. I am not very connected to the St. Louis social scene. I don’t belong to any clubs. Would you let me in your club? You know I would write about it. I would attempt to disguise it, but you’d know! I asked one of my friends if I could join her Bible Study Group. She rejected me immediately. I don’t know if it was because she knows I am not religious or because I like to take opposing positions to stir things up. As I type this, I realize she made the right decision.
Since I can’t write a gossip column, this week I am going to tell you what’s on my mind. Voting! I hope everyone voted on Aug. 4. I voted via an absentee ballot. And let me tell you, in St. Louis County it would be impossible to commit fraud! Our president need not worry about a thing when it comes to the election here.
I noticed that some very nice people were offering to notarize absentee ballots on Saturdays. I had not gotten my ballot, so I called the Board of Elections where a nice young man asked me for my name and address. He looked me up and told me I was one of the 17% caught in a mail glitch, but in another week, I should have my ballot.
When I did not get my ballot, I called again. A very nice older man told me I was one of the people whose ballot was destroyed in the mail, but it was being reprinted, and I should receive it in a day or so. Sure enough, my ballot appeared two days later. So, I filled it out, got it notarized, then dropped it off at the Mid-County Library, where a very nice woman checked my driver’s license, stamped my ballot and dropped it in a box. So, I am not sure anyone in St. Louis County could find a way to commit fraud with all the checks and balances they have. It would have been easier to vote in person!
But I couldn’t because as I type this, it is actually Aug. 4, and I am preparing for my colonoscopy. I am starving, my blood sugar is low, and I am not sure this column is going to make any sense! Those of you who have had this experience will understand. My family is ordering Pointer’s Pizza for dinner tonight. Help me!