There was no one more upset about the firing of Anthony Scaramucci than me. (Well, maybe he was.) I had already started writing a column titled, What Would The Mooch Do? In it, I encouraged people to do the exact opposite. Then, I read that his wife filed for divorce and he missed the birth of his child because he was traveling with the president. I thought, gosh, I can’t kick a guy when he’s down, even one who refers to himself as ‘The Mooch’ and wears blue reflective sunglasses. So I decided to rename this column Let’s Not Be Jerks and provide helpful hints to make you a better person. Please know, these opinions are my own and in no way represent the views of Town&Style. Also, it has been very hot outside and I’ve had a migraine for 10 days.
St. Louis drivers, help me out! I could beg you not to text and drive, but I know you won’t listen. Could you please just not check your texts when you are stopped in the left-hand turn lane, particularly the one at Clayton Road and Big Bend Boulevard? When you are distracted, you miss the signal. Amazingly, though, you notice it just in time for only your car to make the light, totally screwing everyone behind you. I know St. Louis has a ‘no honk’ rule, but I encourage people to lay on the horn when they witness this behavior. One more minor request for those on the road: Can you use your blinkers? You can find them behind your steering wheel. They help those around you know where you are going. That way, we don’t have to communicate telepathically.
I recently read an article that said while St. Louisans are friendly to newcomers, they don’t necessarily want to become friends with them. Unfortunately, my old writing partner Raschelle lived that firsthand upon her arrival in St. Louis when another mother told her she didn’t need any more friends. Sounds awful, but you must give the woman points for honesty. Raschelle and I became friends, and even though she moved to Boston, I can’t imagine not having her in my life. So, at this year’s back-to-school activities, talk to someone new and invite them to coffee, drinks, take a walk in Forest Park? It’s your chance to prove that article wrong. Plus, you won’t have to discuss where you went to high school since they aren’t from here. Think of all the other fun stuff you can talk about. Next thing you know, you two will have your own advice column in Town&Style called Backtalk.
Flying on an airplane these days is far from enjoyable. If people followed a few simple rules, it would be much better. Here are a few good ones: 1. Say hello to the flight attendant when you board. 2. Always keep your shoes on. 3. The person in the middle seat gets both armrests. 4. Food brought on the plane should not smell bad. I read that flight attendants hate serving Diet Coke because it fizzes more than other beverages and takes longer to pour. But I love Diet Coke. When a restaurant server asks if Diet Pepsi is OK, I change my order to iced tea. So, what should I do on an airplane? Drink what I want even though it annoys the flight attendant? Hmm. What would ‘The Mooch’ do?
Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.