When I think of my senior spring break trip, all I remember is getting a sunburn and drinking a large volume of beer. So when it came time for my daughter’s senior trip last spring, I had mixed emotions. Everyone should have a chance to spread their wings before they head off to college, but the idea that she would be in Mexico drinking and partying to excess seemed wrong. Yes, my parents let me do the same thing, but that was before Natalee Holloway. Somehow, though, my daughter’s well-thought-out arguments elicited a yes—that, and knowing 65 kids from her class would be in Cancun with quite a few chaperones, me included.
Then there was the other reason for anxiety. I had my daughter a little later in life, so I suffer from the oldest-parent-in-the-room syndrome. I traded my NOW card for an AARP card! (If you don’t understand this reference, it further proves my point.) I tried to keep a lower profile at her high school, since you could say I was ‘over involved’ during her grade school years. As a result, I didn’t know many of the parents. So there I was, the last few weeks of school, trying to make new friends. As the trip approached, I could feel the ‘new girl’ anxiety increase. What if I had no one to sit with at the pool? I could read a book. What would I do about meals? This could be a great weight loss opportunity. Who would I drink with? Well, I was still recovering from the shingles, so I really wasn’t drinking.
The first day I plopped myself down next to the friendliest looking mom. As time passed, more moms and dads joined the group, and a daily rhythm began. One mom would arrive early to grab chairs. Another made sure that anyone who walked by was asked to join us. Two other moms saw to it that we ate and applied sunscreen. We had created our own family, one without any annoying parents! Actually, we were the ‘annoying parents,’ embarrassing our kids daily by doing water aerobics and dancing on the pool deck.
So, here I was, a senior mom, and I finally made friends the last weeks of school. All that worry about fitting in was gone. And I managed to learn a few things, too. First, I still dance like Elaine on Seinfeld. Second, I should not judge people by the bumper stickers on their cars and the clubs they belong to. Shame on me! And finally, I am sad I wasted so much time before getting to know these very fun and funny people.
As a few of us floated in the pool the last day, we determined that this loving feeling was going to continue. No, we weren’t going to organize a book club, but rather a drink-of-the-month club. I was elected president. So as these kids are beginning their freshman year of college, they need to know their parents will miss them, but somehow we will manage without them. Our first monthly meeting is scheduled already, and I suspect we will spend most of the time crying about how much we miss our kids—NOT. I am pretty sure our new taste of parental freedom is going to feel just fine.
[You can contact patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.]