the metro
We’re not the undertaker, although from our frequent stories about brick-and-mortar retailers going out of business or getting close to it, you’d think we were running obits for the likes of Sears, Kmart, Payless Shoes, Mattress Firm, Johnny Mac’s … and now, JC Penney. Well, it just seems like they all started coughing up blood at the same time, mostly due to the Big. Bad. Internet. So, who will weep when the next one flatlines? I might when (not if) Dillard’s goes belly-up and the incrementally fewer dollars I have in a 401(k) with the company wither away completely. About 10 years ago, a web wizard even tried to revive Montgomery Ward online. Unfortunately, online shoppers weren’t all that interested in buying stuff from the formerly defunct company their parents and grandparents remembered mainly for the catalogs that were as big as a NYC phone book. (Remember those? No? Charles Atlas could rip them in half. Oh, the name Charles Atlas draws a blank, huh? Then never mind.) Penney’s stock traded for about $80 a share … during the recession. Now, it’s wavering at around $1. Experts question whether the struggling retailer can avoid the fate of Sears, what with declining sales and executive vacancies pointing to a busted business model. The four remaining JC Penney stores in the metro are ‘anchor’ stores, but as the seas change, those anchors are dragging across the bottom. With many of its 800-some locations holed up in struggling shopping malls, online retailers such as Amazon are sounding the death knell. Don’t blame the messenger for ringing that bell, folks. They’ve got their own troubles. You may have noticed that traditional media is not much of a growth industry, either. Our esteemed metro daily is not exactly swimming in cash. But that’s for another week, maybe.
Status quo is wonderful … when referring to a normal heartbeat following a cardiac ‘event.’ But it’s a source of frustration for some Methodists here and around the world. As we previously reported, homosexuality was the only topic of discussion at a special session of the top policy-making body of the United Methodist Church last month. Update: Of the three possible outcomes, including one that would be more welcoming to LGBTQ worshipers, the body voted for the one that will maintain the UMC’s current teaching on human sexuality. In fact, they “doubled down,” noted a disappointed Matt Miofsky, lead pastor of The Gathering, a local LGBTQ-inclusive congregation. “But I do believe there is something on the other side of this,” Miofsky said during an interview with Adam Floyd, a professor at Eden Theological Seminary, on NPR’s St. Louis affiliate KWMU the day after the outcome. The church “does not get to define the extent of God’s love,” emphasized Floyd, whose wife is ‘out’ about her bisexuality. The church is experiencing declining U.S. membership while it’s growing in Africa. Therein lies the rigidly conservative worldview of the UMC, and within Christianity at large. Progressive clergy in Africa may even fear for their lives. Seminaries that support gay, lesbian and transgender students risk losing grants and funding from more influential and conservative churches, according to The New York Times. Protesters at America’s Center made their positions known, loudly and via signs or T-shirts like the one pictured here. A transgender pastor talked to people outside the building. The vote was close, and the issue certainly will be revisited. As regards to the status quo for The Gathering, Miofsky will continue to perform same-sex weddings and maintain the body’s commitment to its warm embrace of everyone.
grand center
Wouldn’t it be grand for you to join your neighbors at a free screening of the acclaimed Mr. Rogers documentary? It is slated for 6 p.m. March 27 at Nine Network’s Bayer Studio in the PBS station’s Grand Center complex. In Won’t You Be My Neighbor?, Academy Award-winning filmmaker Morgan Neville (20 Feet from Stardom) looks back on the legacy of Fred Rogers, focusing on his radically kind ideas. While the nation changed around him, Rogers stood firm in his belief about the importance of protecting childhood. Visit ninenet.org/events. Registration is required, cardigan sweaters are not.
chesterfield
Tesla, the luxury EV (electric vehicle) manufacturer, has two dealerships in the StL, one in U. City and one nearing completion in the former Kemp Auto Museum in Chesterfield. But, wait—is it time to hold everything? Tesla is reportedly heading in a different direction, and not just into outer space. Finances are famously screwed up; the stock’s price-to-earnings ratio is typically lousy. Was this just the psychedelic dream of celebrity billionaire Elon Musk, the inventor and (some would say) visionary who may be one of the first people to walk on Mars but for now sleeps on a couch at company headquarters? He doesn’t seem to have an overabundance of common sense. Mercurial is among the nicer things investment analysts say about him nowadays. Could be the brand one day goes the way of another that was out of this world at its inception: Saturn. Will Tesla be able to survive despite stiff EV competition from U.S. and foreign automakers? Who knows? If we did, we’d be investing heavily, which would have been a great idea at $17 in 2010. And as for the Kemp in Chesterfield? It could be the once and future auto museum.
notable neighbors
The St. Patrick of legend famously rid the Emerald Isle of snakes. On or about March 17, Irishmen and women parade to mark that event (myth?) that dates to the fifth century A.D. Maybe the people, or leprechauns, responsible for spinning that yarn about St. Pat forcing legless reptiles to slither into the sea had been nipping at a certain distilled beverage a wee bit. (Point of fact: Whiskey is Ireland’s chief export. There were once just five varieties; today, add to that about 35!) Ireland has had plenty of trouble since the snakes or rumors of snakes. One period is referred to, euphemistically, as ‘The Troubles.’ A century before that, there was a horrid potato famine (1845-49). But, no more snakes. Aye? That’s speculation, of course.
What we know for true is that attorney Joe McGlynn of Ladue is to march downtown in our 50th St. Patrick’s Day Parade on March 16. McGlynn, 85, has headed up more parades than you have, and has more than a tad of Irish in him: He is Honorary Consul General for Ireland. McGlynn finished his undergrad work in 1955 at a school whose mascot is a fightin’ Irishman: Notre Dame. In 1958, he graduated from law school at a university where the mascot is a Billiken: SLU. He, his wife and their five children have dual citizenship. Our parade was but a dream at first, says McGlynn, who was among the organizers who approached city fathers in 1969—one of whom was Mayor Alfonso J. Cervantes—to discuss their plans. At first, however, hizzoner was not convinced they could pull it off. But he was not Irish; streets commissioner Jim Shea was. Through the years, crews have painted a green line in the middle of the avenues, boulevards and other thoroughfares along the route. Police have estimated crowds at 300,000 or so each year. Notables from Ireland have been invited—about a half-million lined the streets the second year when Irish prime minister Jack Lynch was the honored guest. Lynch was so enamored that he came back three times. The McGlynns put him up after his first visit. (The Lou is notable for neighborliness, one might say.)
McGlynn recalls that in the 1970s, TV reporter Betsey Bruce accompanied a group to plant a potato in South St. Louis. But someone forgot the tuber, so they ducked into the Soulard Market to select a fine specimen. Bruce, ever the finder of fact, asked whether it was an Irish potato. Aye, someone may have said, pushing his face into the shot. Grinning at the recollection, McGlynn continues: “Of course, it starts with an eye!” Ba-dum-bum. Kevin Short of Clayton Capital Partners and the Today & Tomorrow Educational Foundation is marshal this year. The parade starts at noon. Why go? May the road rise up to meet you, and that, but there’s more: One of the country’s best, our parade is comprised of more than 120 units, including marching bands, floats, huge cartoon-character balloons, 5,000-plus marchers, and—don’t be eagla (frightened)—lots of clowns. Visit irishparade.org.