st. charles
Looks like retail alternatives to the huge shopping mall with four anchor department stores are continuing to do just fine here, thank you. (I don’t mean the Internet, although it’s everywhere and maybe the last place you bought underwear.) As old-school malls struggle, mixed-use developments such as The Streets of St. Charles are burgeoning. Meanwhile, competing open-air outlet malls in Chesterfield Valley seem to be achieving metamorphosis, one as an outdoor shopping center, the other as an entertainment destination. The Streets—one named Lombard (San Francisco), another Beale (Memphis)—recently attracted a drinkery and a few unique retailers. A medical device company with 100-some employees will occupy a 40,000-square-foot office space upstairs from street-level retail. You could think of it as The Boulevard West; the Richmond Heights development across from the Galleria is readying Phase II. This is good news, at least for anyone who’s tired of the pushy people who try to spray new fragrances on you every time you walk into Dillard’s or Macy’s.
creve coeur
The oft-clever MoDOT sign on North Lindbergh across from Chaminade High School usually reads something like “Click It, Or Ticket.” Reminders to buckle up are always useful, unless you happen to be stupid. The CDC says seatbelts reduce serious crash-related injuries and deaths by about half. They’re de rigueur for most folks. Phrases in the news like ‘thrown from the car’ are warning enough. Besides, unless your ride is an antique, a sensor detects when the belt has been neglected. After a while, a series of beeps sounds. The six beeps, but who’s counting, are especially annoying when someone is just driving around the block in search of a better parking space. (OK, OK; I’m buckled up, already!) In excruciating summer heat, MoDOT signs have warned us not to leave pets in locked cars with the windows up. Or they say, “That’s the Temperature, Not the Speed Limit.” Motorists can submit phrases and slogans, some of them clever as all get-out. One from another state: “Bob Wears Orange. Don’t Hit Bob. We Need Him.” Cell phone use while driving is one of MoDOT’s pet peeves, which is why you’ll see messages like “Get Your Head Out of Your Apps.” In any case, you only have a split second to glance at the signs and understand them. But last week, at least on Monday and Tuesday, one message was inscrutable: “Buckle-ology. Pick Safely to Win.” Huh? Win what, and from whom? Turning around and driving past the sign a second time was no help. An online search yielded only one slightly relevant result, a video from an Australian company on how to use your wireless BuckleMeUp system, which assures you the kids are all secure. Anyhow, dear reader, can you help us out here? Anyone have a clue what the heck Buckle-ology is?
There are chamber music concerts on April Fools’ Day and the day after, so mark your calendars and sympathize with your watches: Carnegie Hall, next Monday and Tuesday nights at 7:30. Did we just say Carnegie Hall? Our bad. That’s in NYC. We meant The Sheldon. That’s in our world-renowned Grand Center Arts District. Right here in the StL, around the corner from The Fox. No fooling. Chamber musicians, reportedly, never pass up an opportunity to have fun. Who knew? But probably no one will get a pie in the face, and although we can’t promise anything, they say they’ll ‘try not to get too rowdy.’ Foolproof, the program to be held both nights, includes:
Dudley Moore’s Beethoven parody—And the Same to You
Haydn—String Quartet No. 2, Opus 33, The Joke
Heidrich—Happy Birthday Variations
Mozart—A Musical Joke, K. 522
Stravinsky—Circus Polka: For a Young Elephant
A serious Russian composer mixing a polka with a young circus elephant? (What? Oh. They said polka, not vodka.) They can’t be serious. Which, of course, is the point. While you scratch your head and rub your ears, test a couple of these compositions on YouTube. The late Arthur actor’s piece is hysterical; in the solo piano piece from Beyond the Fringe, he mixes Beethoven’s Fifth (at the very least) with The Colonel Bogey March. (Roll over Beethoven? Why would Ludwig have cared, being deaf and all?) Anyhow, visit chambermusicstl.org/concerts.
Pictured, at left front: Dudley Moore
the metro
What was it that Aunt Edna used to say? “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” That was usually aimed at your mother when she was trying to ‘improve’ the clan’s ancient recipe for vegetable soup. The phrase above could be the name of Better Together’s adversary group. Or: Get Over Yourselves. Maybe: Just Leave Us the Hell Alone. That’s essentially what leaders of, and citizens in, various county municipalities are saying to the juggernaut behind Better Together, the plan to remarry the city and county after their divorce more than 100 years ago. But those were both wordy, not to mention too clever by half. So, it’s Cities Strong. Gerry Welch, mayor of Webster Groves, is the group’s vice president; she’s a past president of the St. Louis County Municipal League. A former Crestwood mayor has reemerged. Sunset Hills and Rock Hill are in the mix … and we haven’t the space to mention all the cities and towns that are armed with petitions designed to stand against Better Together’s wishes for a statewide ballot issue in 2020. There are, like, more than 85. Watch this space.
notable neighbors: u. city
Burroughs junior and political junkie Gabe Fleisher has had Potomac River water flowing through his veins since he attended President Obama’s first inaugural address. He was in D.C. on that historic day in 2009—sitting atop his father Randy’s shoulders, we assume, because he was only 7, and the crowd was ‘bigly.’ Gabe, now 17, will be on spring break until April 1. So will his newsletter, Wake Up to Politics, which he routinely emails to more than 50,000 subscribers every Monday through Friday … waking up at 5:55 a.m. to write and file it before he leaves his home in U. City to go to school. (“I don’t need a lot of sleep,” he told The New York Times in May 2017, “and I 