[ballwin]
Crime summaries can be unintentionally amusing, especially in Ballwin, one of our area’s most crime-free communities. Almost nothing heinous happens there most weeks, as is also the case in, say, Glendale and Oakland. Our apologies for making light of bicycle and leaf-blower thefts to the former owners of said missing items. But there seems to be a common thread in the summary released by Ballwin police for the two weeks spanning April 28 to May 12: two bucks. Yep, two of the half-dozen or so items involved the theft of $2. First, a bucket filled with about $150 worth of copper fittings was removed from an unsecured vehicle. But the victim made sure to report that $2 in change was missing, too. The very next day, another victim reported that “$2 in U.S. currency (change)” was taken from the ashtray of his or her vehicle, also unsecured. Your investigative team has probable cause to believe that the Two-Dollar Thief is at large in the Ballwin area. Why, that’s enough for 400 pieces of penny candy! In any case, people, secure your cars. That’s police-speak for locking them. Think about doing the same with your garage doors. Isn’t this just common sense? If you don’t, in no time the Two-Dollar Thief’s spoils could add up to, well, a sum that won’t be quite so humorous!
[ladue]
There have been some interesting goings-on behind Schneithorst’s façade upstairs just off the Biergarten, most definitely falling in the category of ‘Who knew?’ Gott im Himmel! Is a wolverine (statuette) poised to devour (the statuette of a) mama stork in her nest atop the chimney? No, but the oh-so-Teutonic former banquet room is now the offices of Blue Ocean Portfolios, rugged dark timbers, massive stone hearth and all. Founded in 2009, the investment firm previously located in Chesterfield moved into the former bastion of society dining. Interestingly, the late investment banker John R. Woods in 2004 had renovated and customized the space to reflect his notoriously adventurous taste. But it had not been occupied since his fatal motorcycle crash in 2008. Today the Village at Schneithorst’s, located at Clayton Road and Lindbergh Boulevard, is home to several investment firms, and Blue Ocean founder Jim Winkelmann is excited to share the parking lot and rub shoulders with several competitors, adding that it’s a bit sobering to occupy the high-ceilinged, 1950s-era room where local civic notables, sports and entertainment luminaries, and pillars of industry once held court. If that seems too sobering, don’t worry: a frosty adult beverage isn’t far away … as everyone has, no doubt, discovered, usually after the New York Stock Exchange bell has rung to close the day’s trading, of course. Plus, where else to do lunch with a client? Why, right downstairs.
[chesterfield]
Remember hanging a bed sheet over the clothesline at dusk and screening home movies until dad stopped cussing out the projector, which had jammed and shredded film for the last time? Some of us do. Technology has made it much easier and more pleasant for families to watch movies outside. Chesterfield has a giant inflatable screen to make the experience a blast for the family films it plans to show three Friday nights at dusk this summer, for free. Selections, to be shown at the amphitheater, include The LEGO Movie as the first pick, on Friday, June 5. (Wonder whether the LEGO folks, full of hope, put together an Oscar statue with those evil sharp blocks that somehow manage to be under a bare foot when dad heads groggily to the bathroom in the wee-wee hours?) New and gently used toys are being accepted as a donation that night. A week later, June 12, Planes: Fire & Rescue, will be shown. Firefighters from Monarch Fire Protection District will be on hand, because what kid doesn’t love a fire truck? Then the 2015 Academy Award-winner for best animated feature film, Big Hero 6, will unspool July 17. Looks like the movie pickers are saving the best for last—at least as far as the Academy was concerned. Donations of school supplies will be greatly appreciated at that screening. Although it’s hard to believe anyone’s thinking school in mid-July, since it seems like the kids just got out! For all shows, bring blankets and a cooler, but no glass or tobacco. Concessions will be available for purchase.
[o’fallon]
“Spider, this is Fly. Fly, meet Spider. Shake, uh, appendages.” We’ll call this unlucky knucklehead Fly, because he just happened to wander right into Spider’s web while buying gift cards in large amounts at a Walgreens in O’Fallon. Fly, of course, just happened to be using a couple of bogus credit cards. Spider (the cops) had an eye on the drugstore for that very reason, and just happened to be there looking at surveillance photos of people engaging in the criminal practice when Fly dropped in. Why, he sure looked familiar. After the cops moved in on him, he started to sing, err, buzz. Fly had the equipment to make fake cards in his car. And some fake credit cards. Plus there were dozens more numbers in his phone, stolen from unlucky consumers, that a henchperson had texted to him. Seems the partners in crime would score the value of a $500 gift card purchased with the bad plastic. Alas, these cards were not gifts to anyone but themselves. Earlier this month, the feds sentenced Fly to more than three years in the big house … and ordered him to make more than a cool 60 grand in restitution to the folks whose accounts his partner(s) had illicitly accessed. But he’d done only some of his shopping here, racking up that amount in and around the StL. He piqued the U.S. Attorney’s interest by making his ruse into interstate commerce. My, my; what is this world coming to? Doesn’t anybody just write bad checks anymore?
[st. louis]
Want to do more than walk, run or ride downtown this July? How about sliding down Market Street in the swelter of a St. Louis summer? And you don’t even have to risk a bicycle accident to do it. Slide the City, a giant waterslide, is coming to the Lou in July. How giant? About the length of three city blocks: 1,000 feet or so. This nutty contraption is kind of like the inflatables that invade a church or school picnic, except it’s bigger and has a constant flow of H2O. Participants will be able to go with the flow, au naturel … well, covered with swim shorts, bathing suits and any other garment the wearer doesn’t mind getting wet. (Will there be any takers in three-piece business suits? And if not, why?) Or they can zip down the slide while riding inflatable creatures the likes of killer whales and other creatures of the deep. Tickets for the event over the weekend of July 11 and 12 (Saturday and Sunday) start at $13 for a single trip, more for a three-trip ticket, and a few or more dollars to take as many slippery trips as your heart desires. Meanwhile, there’ll be music, vendors and giveaways thanks to a partnership with three radio stations: Fresh 102.5, KMOX, and Y98. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to area food banks. Feel good, do good … and who cares about the humidity? But then, it could rain. Big whoop. In that case, just keep slip slidin’ away.
[webster groves]
A wag famously said: ‘The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed.’ Well, it seems residents of Kirkwood, Webster Groves and other burgs around the metro can ‘get involved’ with chickens … specifically egg-laying hens, without making a long-term commitment. These are egglayers, not fryers, and they are being offered by a local business called The Easy Chicken, where you can rent a hen or hens, plus coop to see if fresh-laid eggs are right for you. Customers can try out the hens for a season, or may decide that their small operation is great year-round, and purchase their egg-layers for chicken feed (literally and figuratively). Not sure whether the neighbors will approve? IMHO, a little clucking is less annoying than a lot of barking, plus you can appease the Joneses with the main ingredient for sunny-side up, over-easy and scrambled, fresh from the coop. While chickens aren’t likely to sleep at the end of the bed like Fido, that is of no concern to the neighbors. What has Fido ever done for them but leave messes and make a lot of senseless noise just over the fence?