What would a wedding be without the show-stopping gown, the ever-expanding guest list, the blow-out party? Well, it might be a second wedding. While most first weddings tend to follow a template—the flowers, the cake, the bridesmaids, the videographer—the second time around, couples are less concerned with tradition and more into doing their own thing. Jennifer Van Luven of Chesterfield says getting married when you’re “older and wiser” has its benefits. The Chesterfield resident and mother of three planned a more intimate, laidback affair for her second marriage to Jay Van Luven.
The two, who were friends in junior high, reconnected 25 years later when Jennifer’s sister was at a party with Jay and passed along her number. “I hadn’t seen or heard from him since 1986,” Jennifer says. “I thought I would never get married again, but he proposed just four months after we started dating.” Jay had spoken with Jennifer’s children before he popped the question at LoRusso’s.
“We wanted to go away, but nowhere too far,” Jennifer explains. “We just wanted an intimate atmosphere, like a nice dinner party with our immediate family and a few close friends.” They chose St. Joseph’s, Michigan, for the casual affair on July 23, 2013. “My first wedding was huge; this was much more fun,” she says. “We were surrounded by who we wanted to be around.” Jay wore a seersucker suit, and Jennifer chose a simple white dress for the beach ceremony. They wanted the kids to be involved, so her 12-year-old son stood with the other groomsman, and her 10-year-old daughter served as flower girl. Her 16-year-old daughter and a close friend were maids of honor, each in casual dresses from J. McLaughlin. “Jay and I did vows together, and then the kids came up, and we all vowed that we would love and support each other as a new family,” Jennifer says.
Jay took the lead on planning since it was his first marriage. “I had done it all before, so I didn’t mind that he was more into the preparations,” she says. “We rented a big outdoor patio that we decorated simply with Japanese lanterns and had an outdoor sit-down dinner with dancing and music. The celebration really lasted five days because everyone came into town early. It’s exactly what we wanted—a fun weekend party with close family and friends.”
[trends for ‘i do’ number 2]
When planning a second wedding, experts say brides definitely lean toward a simpler, more casual affair. But that doesn’t make it any less a celebration!
Cara Hale, store manager, The Ultimate Bride
« Now, more than ever, it’s anything goes. The overall trend is to go for a more chic fit that is closer to the body, like a slip dress. Most women pick something less formal and full.
« Many choose gowns with straps or sleeves, which is becoming more popular even for first-time brides. It’s a lot easier for second brides now because what is ‘appropriate’ for them is actually what’s on trend.
« Traditionally they choose a champagne, blush or dark ivory tone.
« I don’t see many veils for second weddings, but women still wear something in their hair, like a beaded hairpiece with a short piece of tulle.
« The bridal party is typically smaller, and it seems there is more involvement from the bridesmaids in picking out their dresses. The bride takes into account their opinion since the women are usually more set in their style.
« Brides are not afraid this round to show more skin and embrace their sexy side, to just have more fun with it. A more casual venue is often conducive to this type of dress.
Nancy Lehtman, owner, Distinct ions:
« A lot of what you wear depends on the venue. Second weddings are often at people’s homes, on an island or at the beach, so it’s more casual. The other thing to consider is the age of the bride; if she is older, she’ll usually want to be more conservative and won’t want a long gown.
« Rarely will a second wedding dress be white or beige. Brides usually opt for soft shades of pastels. And color is no longer a seasonal thing. Brides are picking the colors they like for themselves and their wedding party, which might be a bright coral in the winter or a darker tone in the summer.
« Lace is a really big trend right now for both brides and mothers.
« Second-time brides normally don’t pick coordinating dresses for their bridesmaids, and it’s almost always a smaller wedding party.
Tony Montano, owner, BUDS
« Second-time brides tend to go simpler with flowers, but it truly comes down to how all-out the second wedding is.
« For a more casual vibe, we arrange the flowers in a hand-tied, picked-from-the-garden look.
« Flowers always need to be just an accessory to the dress. So with a lot of beading or lace, I tend to go simpler. If the dress is very simple, you can have a lot more texture in the bouquet.
« Garden roses are very popular. Unlike regular roses, they have more petals and are shaped like peonies.
Pictured: Jennifer and Jay Van Luven with her children
Photo: Casually Unique