It seems like every time I turn around, I am getting hit up by someone to supportthem in a walk, run or cycling event for charity. I feel like Scrooge if I don’t support them. is there a right way to say no?
—over asked
[patty]
First, let’s applaud your friends who are still willing to put on their shoes and participate in an athletic event to raise money. Now that is not to say I don’t get hit up. I am willing to contribute to any family member who laces up, or to any of my kids’ friends. That’s it. Anyone else gets the response: “My charitable dollars are already spent, sorry.” By the way, most of these solicitations are via email anyway, so just hit the delete button. I promise you are not violating any etiquette rules by failing to reply.
[raschelle]
Oh, c’mon, what’s a few bucks for a good cause? I mean seriously, the contributions here are what … like $1 a mile or something? Why run the risk of insulting someone to save yourself $25? I say just pony up and send them on their way. Be happy that you supported your friend and a good cause. And most of all, just be grateful you didn’t have to walk, run or bike it yourself.
My daughter was admitted to several prestigious universities but has decided to attend one that provided her with an outstanding scholarship. When I tell people where she is going, I can tell they think she picked a second-tier university. How can I let them know she was admitted to other ones as well?
—proud of my daughter
[patty]
I really wish people would stop using the word prestigious when discussing colleges and universities. Please, I beg of you. And to you, proud mother: stop! Your daughter is going to college, on a scholarship, so stop talking about anything but that. College admissions is a crap shoot. Everyone knows it. Your daughter’s success is based on what she does in college, not where she goes. Trust me, I used to hire people for a rather large financial services firm, and I could never remember where people went to school. And no, I did not and do not have dementia.
[raschelle]
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, please stop talking about your children as if the world revolves around them. To be honest, no one cares where your kid is going to college, or what she’ll be doing once she gets there, trust me. So just find something else to talk about. Don’t you have any interests? Don’t you have thoughts and ideas and hobbies beyond your child? If you don’t, you’d better get some. Seems to me you might be really bored once she’s headed off to that not-so-prestigious-yet-affordable college you’re so ashamed of.
» Patty Hannum is happy she went to college in the ‘70s when parents didn’t care where you went, just as long as you graduated.
» Raschelle Burton is state-school smart!