Town&Style

Patty Unleashed: 10.16.19

I will be 60 years old in January, and I need your help! I now am officially an adult, and I need to do something meaningful with my life. Sure, I had a career in the financial services industry, raised two kids and did more than my fair share of volunteer work, but what am I supposed to do now? My obligations are minimal. I have to write this column and review books, TV shows and podcasts for Town&Style and make sure my house is somewhat free of dog hair. I do some volunteer work, but it’s mostly the ‘stick-up’ variety. You know, calling people and asking them for money (which I have come to learn most people hate to do.) So here are my thoughts, and I would appreciate your feedback.

1. I could write a book. I have actually started two books but have gotten nowhere. To be honest, my life is not all that filled with drama. I have had some bumps along the way but nothing catastrophic. I guess I could write fiction, but I create so much of that in my mind since I’m a hypochondriac, I’m not sure it would be good for my mental health. Plus, who would read it? Would you read the ramblings of a 60-year-old?
2. I could become an influencer. I have a friend who lives in Chicago who has turned her Instagram persona into a profitable business. She is invited to go on trips, given clothing by designers, paid money to promote skin care lines. I mean, I could do that, but there are a few problems. My friend is 20 years younger than me and photographs beautifully. In most photos, I look like I am a serial killer or constipated. To be honest, I just want the swag. It’s true, a free T-shirt means the world to me.
3. I could become a speaker, like give TED Talks. I started my career in financial services in the ‘80s when it was male dominated. I can provide all kinds of suggestions on how to get your voice heard in meetings and how to be taken seriously. That said, if anyone used my approach these days, they would swiftly be directed to HR for outplacement counseling. I guess the days are gone when you can curse like a sailor and break a phone (just the handle, not the whole phone).
4. I could become a private eye. As everyone knows, I am fascinated by true crime, but I am even more fascinated by true crime that I think is happening among us. You ever get a feeling when you meet someone that there is something a little off? Maybe it’s someone in your old neighborhood who never fully opened the door when you knocked. You can’t call the police and say, “I have a funny feeling about this guy.” But you sure don’t want to be the person interviewed on 48 Hours saying, “I always knew they were the spawn of Satan.” I could be a one-person Charlie’s Angel but without that bossy Charlie telling me what to do. Based on my parents’ life span, I think I have another  5 years left, so if you have an idea, let me know. I am certain there is something or someone who needs my skill set.

Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com

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