I am odd. I’ve known this for a long time, but I usually try to hide it from others. Over the years, people have told me about motivational speakers they’ve heard, books that inspire them or TED Talks they think I should listen to. When that happens, I nod knowingly and move away quickly so I don’t have to engage in further conversation. I am unmotivated by people whose job it is to motivate.
As I write this, my desk features a pad of paper that says, ‘People I want to punch in the face,’ and my favorite pen is inscribed with the uplifting sentiment, ‘That idea is garbage.’ I have no idea why I am like this, but I am. When I first started working, I was one of those annoying people who called to get you to take a survey. As you can imagine, most people hung up on me. Some were good sports and answered my questions; others said some pretty vile and demoralizing things. The place where I worked held little contests with rewards for the most completed surveys, but I always thought the winner should be the person who had the worst thing said to them on the phone.
From there, I moved into the world of retail, and every other week there was a sales contest. I was good at winning them. I love talking to strangers, and if someone walks into a store, they really do want to buy something—they just may not know it yet. With a little encouragement, people would buy what I suggested, and there you had it, another win for Patty. (This time, I thought the real prize should go to the sales associate who dealt with all of the girls trying to return prom dresses with stains on them.)
Once I moved into the corporate world, I got frightened anytime there was talk of offsite team-building exercises. I did not trust anyone enough to blindly fall into their arms, especially if it was someone I had spent weeks arguing with about a work issue. I always pictured them suddenly getting a muscle cramp just as I fell, and BAM, I would crack my head open (an expression my mom used often). Everyone would pretend it was an accident, but I would know the truth.
Sure, I enjoy hearing people’s success stories. I love them so much that I write about them on a regular basis. I forever click on Facebook posts about people who do amazing things like jumping into a river to save a dog. And programs like The Today Show do a good job of featuring everyday people who do awesome things. But when it comes to motivational speakers? Yuck. I don’t want to be ‘lifted up’ by Tony Robbins, Deepak Chopra or anyone else.
So, I wonder, is there a market for people like me who could talk to audiences about de-motivation? I would tell them the truth—that most of what you get in life is because of hard work and luck. I could tell a few stories and get a few laughs. I’d charge less than motivational speakers and would promise not to hawk any books or five-step programs for personal success. Would it work? We’ll never know for sure because I’m not motivated enough to do anything about it.
Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.
