As you all know by now, I’m adjusting to being an empty-nester. Apparently, a child who shall remain unnamed is adjusting quite well to college in Denver, so if like me you are looking for things to fill a void, here are some suggestions I have found helpful.
« Learn a skill from your great-grandmother: My girlfriend and I started canning. Yes, you read that correctly, we decided that we should prepare for what could be a hard winter by filling up our pantries with some basic staples. We both had an entire Saturday with nothing pressing, so why not learn a new skill? Canning is not particularly hard—just lots of chopping and boiling. Though our great-grandmothers aren’t around to teach us this skill, with some quick Internet searches we were ready to start, kind of. Regrettably, neither of us paid attention to the pH rule, you know, the one that actually keeps the food from giving you botulism. Nonetheless, we managed to can tomato and apple sauces, salsa and apple chutney. I don’t really want to risk my health, so I plan to give my sauces and salsas as holiday gifts. (The whole botulism thing makes me a little nervous.)
« Go to the mall: I shopped. And I shopped. I had a party at a store so my friends would shop with me while drinking wine. I bought the most expensive purse I have ever purchased, in an attempt to make myself feel better. You know, they tell you that you can’t buy happiness, but I came close a few times. Thanks, Saks Fifth Avenue.
« Go to a spa: I went to a spa in Austin, Texas, with my friend Beth. I met Beth in high school, and we’ve been getting into mischief ever since, including crashing a wedding. So off we went to this small, exclusive spa where we would be fed, pampered and work out to our hearts’ content. Things didn’t start so great, since the spa limo forgot to pick us up, but after that small kerfuffle it went swimmingly. The two of us met Gayle King, you know, Oprah Winfrey’s best friend? Beth and I spent the rest of the time trying to get Gayle to become our best friend, but she resisted every overture, including: “Gayle, would you like to join us for wine and bingo?” Hard to believe she could say no to that. As for losing weight at the spa, hell, the food was nutritionally balanced, served in small portions and locally sourced. Had Beth and I adhered to the suggested maximum of two glasses of wine, we probably would have shed some pounds. But Lucy and Ethel just couldn’t resist breaking that rule. So I came home a little chubbier than when I left. I am not going to stress, though, since wine is one of those foods that tastes good and is good for you, right?
Next week, I finally get to see my daughter. I suspect she will resist my plan to sleep in her room like I did when she was a baby just to make sure she is still breathing.
Contact patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.
