Greetings from the Florida Keys! Even though I am vacationing, I still want to share my thoughts; problem is, I don’t have many of them when I am in the Keys! It really is like the Jimmy Buffett songs: margaritas and cheeseburgers in paradise. Everyone wears T-shirts, shorts and flip-flops. No one wants to know your last name, much less where you went to high school. I was a little stuck this week for a topic so I consulted my trusty notebook, the one where I jot down ideas for columns and inspirational quotes. Sometimes I don’t remember what they mean months later. So I thought we would just take a journey into my brain, I mean, notebook.

First up, this quote: If you don’t do a lot of stupid things when you’re young, you won’t have funny things to talk about when you’re old. That’s all it says on the page. Is this a famous quote? Did someone say it to me, or did it occur to me in the middle of the night? I agree with the quote, but only when it comes to me personally—it shouldn’t apply to my children. They should never do stupid stuff. They should stay safe, preferably always live close by, and wear helmets even while crossing the street.

Here’s another one (and I suspect I was watching Dr. Phil when I wrote this one down): What do you want your epitaph to say? I could just picture myself on Dr. Phil as he hurls the question at me in a show titled, ‘Worry Warriors.’ What you would expect me to say, as a well-known hypochondriac, is: ‘See, I actually did die of illness.’ But instead I would say: ‘I made you chortle.’ I love the word chortle. It is not used often enough and really is so much prettier than guffaw. Dr. Phil would be so caught off guard and charmed, he would introduce me to Oprah and I would get my own talk show on the OWN network. Then hang out with cool people like Gayle King, Tyler Perry and Andy Cohen.

Wonder what this meant: Consider writing haikus. Now this followed several pages of notes about meditation, but I am almost positive we never discussed haikus in my mindfulness class. You see, I have never understood haikus. I remember my attempt at writing them in high school. Not good. I just now reread the definition and a few well-known haikus, and it felt odd. Like that uncomfortable feeling you get in church when something strikes you as funny but totally isn’t and you are trying not to laugh but your mom sees you out of the corner of her eye so she gives you a look that makes you want to laugh harder. (And yes, my mother at 94 can still give me that look.) That’s how I feel about haikus. I hear them and I want to laugh. Here’s the thing, I love poetry, limericks, short stories, really any kind of written word. I am just not a fan of haikus.

So wasn’t that a fun little travelogue? You never know what is going to pop into my head. Oh, about the Florida Keys. The traffic is a MESS around here. So you might want to consider vacationing in Naples. I’m just saying.

Contact Patty Hannum at phannum@townandstyle.com.