I think most married couples have discussed their “hall pass,” especially those who have been married for 42 years like me. Not familiar with the term? A hall pass is one-time permission from your spouse to break your vows of fidelity with a specific person. Sounds slimy? Or maybe too good to be true? Well, I have a hall pass—two actually—and I’ve never even been in the same city as either of my intended victims. You see hall passes are usually never used. It is just something to tell yourself that you actually have a shot with someone unattainable.

When Carey, my husband, and I first discussed this oh so many years ago, my hall passes were Lester Holt from NBC and George Stephanopoulos from ABC. Carey first picked Doris Day. He did not quite understand how this whole thing worked. Once he did, he went with Heidi Klum. All three are pretty unattainable, but that is the point. You get to pretend, but there is no chance this would ever really happen.

Now, I know at the age of 65 I should be thinking about my grandkids, what medications are covered by Medicare and making sure I do not slip, fall and break a hip—not some unattainable goal of using my hall pass, but then
I happened upon the Netflix series Sullivan’s Crossing. It features Scott Patterson who portrayed Luke on Gilmore Girls. I started watching and was quickly struck by the sheer beauty of Chad Micheal Murray. Sure, I had seen him on One Tree Hill, but he was just a kid. Now, he is a full-grown adult.

I did deep dive on Chad. He is apparently married to a woman who looks like a model. They have three kids they adore, and when Chad goes on location, so do they. Sounds rather tight knit, but you cannot stop an old broad from dreaming.

In Sullivan’s Crossing, he plays the somewhat mysterious Cal. Oh look, there he is chopping wood with his shirt off, saving a child from drowning and flipping his golden locks. He had me at the flip. The current season is filming now in Nova Scotia. That’s not too far from St. Louis, right?

The next thing I knew Chad was featured in The New York Times, not Teen Beat or Midlife Dreams. My crush was getting too much attention. Why was the world trying to make it harder for me? Now, every woman between the ages of 40 and 80 was going to rethink their hall pass!

Sure, if I ever met Chad, it would certainly go badly. I am a woman of many words until it comes to, well, anyone that looks like him. This is not really about Chad but more the fun of remembering that even though I could be his mom, there is still desire even when I am retired.

Mock if you must. But take a minute and think about your midlife crush. I know they will bring a smile to your face. Peace my Peeps.