The expectation of fun together time on a summer trip can become mixed with the dreaded car rides and sibling spats. So what’s a parent to do? Here are seven suggestions to make this year’s excursion the trip of your dreams.
1. The vacation starts when you lock the front door. My wife and kids taught me this lesson, as I used to be the kind of dad who wanted to rush to our destination. Instead, we began taking our time on the car rides, enjoying breaks to throw a football, have a picnic and decompress. And, of course, we went to the store beforehand to buy everyone’s favorite snacks. It’s amazing how effectively this avoided crabby parents and siblings.
2. Involve the kids. The more engaged your kids are in planning the vacation, the less whining and feet-dragging you will encounter along the way.
3. Don’t over-schedule. Allow lots of time to relax and go off-track, following your interests as they unfold. Having less on the itinerary means you will feel less rushed and have more opportunities to unwind, be in the moment and have fun.
4. Avoid becoming an ATM. Brainstorm ways your kids can earn money before the trip so they can use their own cash to buy mementos. Or give them some cash at the start of the trip and let them figure out how to budget their money.
5. Be 100 percent present. A dad once confessed that when he and his family watched old vacation videos, he had very little memory of the events even though he was behind the camera. He had been so preoccupied with his career that he was never really present. Don’t miss out! Commit not to do work on the trip and to keep electronic time to a minimum—and have everyone else agree to do the same.
6. Handle sibling rivalry. Vacation is not the ideal time to start working on your children’s interpersonal relationships. Begin today by: telling them your new role is teacher/mediator and therefore you don’t care who started it, etc., you want them to figure out problems themselves; coaching them to ask for what they want from each other; instructing them to listen to the other side and create win-win agreements that work for both parties. If they fight in the car, pull over, have them get out, and don’t let them back in until they have peacefully figured out a solution.
7. Do more with less. Oftentimes it’s the unscripted, spontaneous moments that are the most memorable. On our first night of a Colorado camping trip, I invited everyone to sit by the mountain stream and stargaze with me. The immediate reaction was that it sounded lame. I did it anyway, and slowly the others meandered down to the riverbank, and we experienced one of the most beautiful skies ever—together.
By Dr. Tim Jordan
Tim Jordan, M.D. is a Behavioral Pediatrician who specializes in counseling girls ages 6 through college. For more information, go to drtimjordan.com.
