My friend loves her dog and kisses it on the nose. She will then turn to kiss me or one of her friends. How do I nicely explain to her that I find this practice disgusting? —No Puppy Love
Patty: Really? I must admit I am a dog kisser. People, not so much. I find my dog Stella, while completely annoying and self-absorbed, is always available for a quick kiss on her nose and a rub of her ears. You have to come from a family of kissers and huggers to hug and kiss your friends. I don’t, so I will stick with the dog. It is easier and there’s less rejection. But I guess I didn’t answer your question. Tell her you think it is disgusting, but don’t be surprised if, like me, she chooses the dog.
Raschelle: EEEEWWWWW!! Yes, this is vile. I, too, am a dog lover, but I also understand that dogs are gross. Just the other day my adorable puppy ran toward me with some kind of hind quarter in her mouth. Yes, your read that right: she had part of an animal—I saw what looked like a squirrel leg, hip and possibly a tail, in her mouth, touching her tongue—the same tongue she would be licking me with. She was proud of it. And that is why we do not kiss dogs. The End!
When I get a text from one of my friends, I will promptly call them and my call will be sent directly to voice mail. I think this is rude. If they are available to text, why aren’t they available to talk? —Miss Hearing Their Voices
Patty: Perhaps they are texting you from church? I don’t know why people do this and I would like to rage about how cell phones have made us all rude, inconsiderate people, but I must admit I was that way before cell phones were invented. I can remember feeling nothing but relief when I would get someone’s voicemail at work. I could leave a message, avoid a conversation and small talk, and just get on with my day. If they were one of those people who promptly calls back, I would immediately go get my sixth Diet Coke of the day so they would in turn get my voicemail. Sometimes people just don’t want to talk. I say, be happy with any form of communication you get from people.
Raschelle: What is the matter with you? Why on earth would you immediately call someone back in response to a text? Are you sharpening your stalking skills? Clearly you need some lessons on modern communication. So here you go: they are texting you because they do not want to talk to you. Do not be confused about this rule. It is 100 percent true, 100 percent of the time. In fact, this is why texting was invented: to help us avoid talking to people without the risk of being completely isolated for life. My best advice is to join the rest of us in 2015 and meet your friends and loved ones where they are. If they text, you text back. If they call, you decide how to respond. Do not, I repeat, do not call someone back immediately following a text. There is no greater phone faux pas than that.
» Patty Hannum’s hates small talk unless she is the one doing it.
» Raschelle Burton hasn’t checked voice mail since 2005. So you should stop waiting for that call back!
