I have a friend who is a very successful CEO. He is an amazing businessman who literally built his company out of nothing. He is a great guy for other reasons, too. That said, he is constantly introducing himself as the CEO of the company. It is embarrassing and unnecessary, especially on the kids’ soccer field. How can I tell him to stop?
—Just a Minion
[patty]
I am befuddled by this situation. Whenever anyone asks me what I ‘do,’ I usually respond “not much of anything.” Clearly your friend is proud of his accomplishment, as he should be. That said, perhaps a gentle “Hey, Mr. CEO, what do you think?” every once in a while will get him to realize he is talking about his career too much. Some people just can’t help themselves. Oh, by the way, did you know I am a very successful advice columnist?
[raschelle]
I am not befuddled in the least. It really isn’t your job to tell anyone over the age of about 18 to stop doing anything, unless it would save their lives or otherwise keep them safe. He’s a grown man and his title is obviously a big part of how he defines himself. I don’t understand why you are embarrassed; it isn’t about you. Or is it? Here’s some advice for you that I saw online: Blowing out the other person’s candle will not make yours shine brighter.
I have a friend who is cheap. She is forever ‘leaving her wallet’ at home, always asking to sign her name to the birthday card without chipping in for the present, and never paying for a round of drinks. Our other friends want to stop including her in social events. I feel horrible excluding her. Should I say something instead?
— Worst Person Ever
[patty]
Cheap people know they are cheap, so don’t worry about telling your friend something she doesn’t already know. Yes, if you enjoy her company, tell her that she needs to start opening her wallet or she is going to be excluded. Sometimes honesty is the best policy, and telling your friend that no one likes a freeloader is about as honest as you can get.
[raschelle]
Let me begin by saying yes, I agree with the way you’ve signed your letter: You are the worst person ever. You’ve labeled your friend “cheap,” but I wonder if there’s another explanation? It is hard to know another person’s motivations. And, seriously, how much can this really be setting you back? Is it worth humiliating your friend by threatening to leave her out if she doesn’t ponyup? So here’s a little something to remind you about friendship: Friendship is not a reward for our discriminating and good taste … it is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others.” — C.S. Lewis.
» Patty Hannum has always wanted a job title that consisted of just letters.
» Raschelle Burton isn’t one to preach, so insert ‘the Universe’ if that makes you feel better. Good advice either way.
