The first day of school came around once again, bursting with tears from kids and whoops of joy from parents. Now, students and parents alike are faced with the daunting task of addressing school routines, including homework, chores and schedules. The following are my top four ways to get the year off on the right foot.
1. Family meetings: Have a family meeting to decide together all the pertinent agreements needed for the house to run smoothly. This could include items like morning and bedtime routines, homework practices, chores and screen time. Involving your kids in the process of deciding these routines will ensure better cooperation. You can create win- win agreements with everyone getting their needs met. I like to call it agreements/accountability vs. rules/punishments.
2. Set intentions: Listen to what your children’s goals are for the school year regarding academics, friendships, activities and growth areas. Help them make specific goals. They will be more self-motivated to persist and succeed if they have more autonomy in choosing what they want to accomplish throughout the year.
3. Decide what’s really important: Have conversations about what each person in the family values. Then, make decisions about how everyone will spend their time with involvement in sports and other activities based on these principles, instead of based on what everyone else is doing. Drop out of the rat race and choose more down time to keep everyone close and balanced. Don’t forget to decide together on electronic-free times when everyone is unplugged and present.
4. Accountability: Decide how you will hold each other accountable to your agreements and intentions. My family found that weekly family meetings were the best time to follow up on how we were doing with our responsibilities. It is also important to check in on how the kids are doing with their intentions, and see what support they might need from mom and dad to stay on track.
One of Stephen Covey’s seven habits of highly effective people is to “begin with the end in mind.” The above-mentioned tips are a way to accomplish that. It’s incredibly impactful and empowering for the entire family to collectively create the experiences they want. Begin the process now before you get swept up in the hustle and bustle of the school year.
Tim Jordan, M.D., is a behavioral pediatrician who specializes in counseling girls ages 6 through college. He recently launched an online video parents course, Taking Flight: Everyday Parenting Wisdom to Help Girls Soar. For more information, visit drtimjordan.com.
