You can teach your children many different ways to express gratitude during the holiday season and throughout the year. Here are some of my favorites.
1. Thank people in person.
People like to know you really appreciate their gifts. Let them know you notice how they went out of their way and that it may have cost them extra to do it.
2. Write thank-you notes.
Tell the givers why you like their gifts so they know you are sincere in your thanks.
3. Keep a gratitude journal.
Writing down each day all you are grateful for puts anyone into a positive and happy state of mind. These thoughts can be expressed through words or pictures.
4. Write letters of appreciation.
I tell kids to imagine how someone like a soldier overseas or a lonely elderly person would feel about receiving such a note during the holidays.
5. Remember a negative time, like the loss of a loved one, and contrast that to today.
Focusing on how far you have come brings positive feelings of appreciation, confidence and pride.
6. Remember the ‘George Bailey Effect.’
Have kids imagine what their life would be like without their parents, siblings, best friend, or some positive life event. Doing so brings feelings of thankfulness. And watch It’s a Wonderful Life with the whole family.
7. Delay gratification.
Doing so will cause you to more fully appreciate the experience or object. And it feels even better if you had some ‘skin in the game,’ i.e. were invested in some way in achieving it.
8. Volunteer.
Being of service to others, especially those in need, brings an appreciation for all the people and things in your life.
9. Work gratitude into your daily conversations.
So many people connect through gossip, but encourage your kids to use positive language like encouragement, blessings, appreciation and thankfulness in their conversations with peers and family.
10. Focus on the lessons from unpleasant experiences.
This is a way to forgive and move on from negative feelings and into gratitude.
The truth is that you cannot be in a state of anger and gratitude at the same time. I encourage kids to practice gratitude in the
above ways as often as possible; daily is best. Research shows that expressing appreciation helps people feel more joyful, connected and content. Gratitude is truly the gift that keeps on giving, and the holiday season is a great time to begin.
[Tim Jordan, M.D., is a Behavioral Pediatrician who specializes in counseling girls ages 6 through college. For more information, go to drtimjordan.com.]
