Italian bobsledder Eugenio Monti held 10 world championship titles and was considered a favorite to win gold at the 1964 Olympics. In the first heat of the four-man event, the Canadian team broke an Olympic record but also damaged one of their axles. It looked like they would be disqualified until Monti stepped in. He had his mechanics fix the sled, and the next day the Canadiens won gold while Monti’s team won bronze. During the final round of competition in the two-man event, the British team discovered a faulty bolt on their bobsled that would prevent them from making their final run. Monti removed the bolt from his sled and gave it to the British. The Brits won the gold. Ultimately, Monti’s selflessness earned him the Pierre de Coubertin medal. This award is given to Olympic athletes who demonstrate outstanding sportsmanship. Monti was the first athlete to ever win the award. Four years later, Monti drove both his two-man and four-man sleds to Olympic victory.
I worry that today, in this culture of Me, Me Me, kids are not seeing enough examples of good sportsmanship or acts of service. College athletes change schools in order to earn more NIL money, and their coaches do the same in pursuit of greater riches. I watch NBA players dunk on an opponent and then thump their chest and scream in their rival’s face. Youth club sports have become uber competitive with a focus on winning and gaining college scholarships, giving little attention to concepts like sportsmanship and personal development. I teach kids and teens in my camps about a concept we call arrows in-arrows out. Having your arrows in means thinking only of yourself. Arrows out is when you consider others, such as asking if everyone’s had a cookie before you take the last one. Most of us would prefer to hang with people who have their arrows out, kids included.
So, we need to show our kids more examples of people who practice arrows out and good sportsmanship like Monti. Central Washington University softball players Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace were playing Western Oregon University when their opponent, senior Sara Tucholsky, who had never hit a home run before—not in high school, not in college, not ever in her 21 years of playing softball, smashed the ball over the center-field fence. Amazed at her home run, Tucholsky forgot to touch first base. As she quickly turned to correct the mistake, her knee blew out, tearing her ACL. Tucholsky was on the ground, crawling back to first. The rulebook says that if anyone from her team tried to help her, Tucholsky would be called out. The umpires said that if she couldn’t continue beyond first base, her over-the-fence hit would count only as a two-run single.
That’s when Holtman asked the umpire if the homerun would count if she carried her around and helped her touch each base. The umpires looked at each other and said yes. So that’s what Mallory and Wallace did. They literally carried Tucholsky—an opposing player—around the bases, making sure she tagged every base with her good left foot. In the end, that home run contributed to Holtman and Wallace’s team losing the game. It also meant that Holtman, a senior, would never make it into the NCAA playoffs. Soon after, her softball career was over. But there’s a reason they now call Holtman the “greatest player” in her team’s history. And it’s not just because she’s the all-time home run leader in her conference (which she is). Mallory Holtman and Liz Wallace lost a game of baseball. And won the game of life.
That, my friends, is having your arrows out. I encourage you to look for stories such as these in the newspaper, TV news, at your kids’ school, in books and movies and in your family. They are there but not as sensational as the negative stories.
Here’s a final story that is one of my all-time favorite examples of incredible sportsmanship. A few years ago, at the Seattle Special Olympics, nine contestants, all physically or mentally disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash. At the gun, they all started out with the relish to run the race to the finish and win. All, that is, except one boy who stumbled on the asphalt, tumbled over a couple times and began to cry. The other eight heard him cry, slowed down and paused. Then, they all turned around and walked back, every one of them. One girl with Down’s syndrome bent down and kissed his forehead and told him, “This will make it better.” Then all nine linked arms and walked together to the finish line. Everyone in the stadium stood, and the cheering went on for 10 minutes.
We would all feel a lot less stressed and pessimistic if we focused on positive stories such as these.
