Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 58. I would prefer 55, but somehow I have not yet figured out how to time travel. Did you notice that I didn’t say I wished I was 35? No, I am pretty OK with being in my 50s. I still am startled at times when I catch my reflection in a mirror and wonder who the older woman is, but then I fluff up my hair, put on some lipstick, take off my glasses and suddenly, I look amazing!
I love my birthday! When you are from a large family, there aren’t many days that are exclusively ‘yours.’ On our birthdays, we got to pick out what we wanted for dinner and our birthday cake. My meal choice was always the same: fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and no vegetable, followed by a marble cake (you know, the vanilla and chocolate swirl) from Betty Crocker. I only remember presents from my ninth birthday because they were the best presents EVER. My parents gave me an I.D. bracelet with my name on it (I still own it) and my siblings gave me the Little Kiddles dollhouse. The bracelet was the first piece of ‘fine’ jewelry I owned, and the dollhouse was something that none of my friends had, so I felt doubly special that year.
Each year, a part of me thinks my friends and family will forget my birthday. So two to three weeks before, I start gently reminding people of it with casual conversation starters like, “I can’t believe how old I am getting,” or “Boy, another year sure has snuck up on me.” And if I don’t get the feedback I need, I try the subtle approach: “So, what are you planning for my birthday?” or “Lunch next week? Great! We can celebrate my birthday.” I know at my age, I shouldn’t need attention, much less demand it, but I do. You will never hear me say, “Oh, don’t worry about getting me anything for my birthday. Just hanging out with you is enough.” Because that’s a lie. I want a damn gift. I’m not sure why I behave this way, but I always have. It is the one day of the year when I want the spotlight to shine on me. (OK, we all know that’s a big lie too, because there are lots of times I want the spotlight on me. But my birthday is the most important one.)
Is it because I am from such a big family, and somehow was neglected? Not a chance. I got all of the attention I needed and very much used to my advantage any parental distraction caused by my siblings. Is it a lack of self-esteem? Maybe. I mean, I used to have a job where people were forced to listen to me speak for 45 minutes at a time. Now people can walk away from me whenever they tire of my voice. But having read enough self-help books, I don’t think I suffer from lack of self-esteem. I just think I am a person who loves getting gifts. I love the anticipation. I love the unwrapping. I love writing the thank-you notes. I love everything about the gift part of my birthday. While I may be 58 tomorrow, I still act like I’m 8 when it comes to presents. I think it’s too late to change. So if you see me tomorrow, wish me a happy birthday and please have a gift ready.
Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.
