Please understand that I thought long and hard about whether to share this with you. There are some things I like to keep to myself, mostly out of embarrassment and a little shame. But I do think the only way I can get better is to admit that I have a problem. I also am afraid that once Christmas is over, I will be forced to go cold turkey, and I’m not sure I can do it, so I need your support. You see, I am addicted to the Hallmark Channel, which plays those sappy, trite, formulaic Christmas movies all day. Let me explain how I got into this mess.
I suffer from chronic migraines and sometimes have ones that last 12 days. I get great help from Dr. Cheryl Faber and Dr. Jennifer Delaney, who have been working with me on ways to make these bad boys less intense. Fortunately, there are some promising new drugs recently approved by the FDA that might work for me. I have tried acupuncture, cranial massage, cryotherapy, reflexology, every medication known to mankind, hypnosis, food diaries, ice masks, lavender-scented everything, CBD oil … you get my drift. Anyhow, when my head feels like it’s in a vise, my only comfort has been lying in the fetal position with the TV tuned to MSNBC or some murder mystery. Now, however, those TV selections no longer soothe the pain. In their place, the Hallmark Channel has been providing me comfort like no medicine on earth.
Each movie takes place in a small, charming town, and there’s a beautiful young woman who has come home to save her family’s bookstore/farm/grocery store. The town always holds an amazing Christmas festival. A handsome young man from a big city—usually New York—arrives to buy out the family business or tear down a beloved home and replace it with condos. He meets the young woman, they disagree about everything, and somehow in four days—all before the Christmas festival—they fall in love. He proposes and decides to move to the small town, forgetting all about the corporate world. Now, he is going to be a farmer.
None of these movies is based in reality. All of them feature the most gloriously perfect holiday decorations you have ever seen. Oh, and the young woman always has beautifully blown out hair without ever visiting a salon.
Here’s the problem. I also have been watching these movies when I am NOT drugged, and I enjoy them. I mean, I really enjoy them. My husband walks in the room, looks at the TV, turns around and walks out. I know he is disappointed in me, but I just can’t stop. Unfortunately, I soon will be forced to, because Hallmark won’t show the movies once the holidays are over. So please, don’t fall into the same trap. Stick with It’s a Wonderful Life.
Contact patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.
