Have you seen the commercials featuring Mindy Kaling for Nationwide Insurance? Mindy is treated as if she is invisible: She can’t hail a cab or get any kind of service. This leads her to believe she is invisible and frees her to do anything she wants, like try to kiss Matt Damon.
I, like Mindy, suffer from this affliction. I remember the moment I first realized it. My 1980 class, called Operations and Supply Chain Management,’ had few women, and fewer with long red hair. Part of our grade depended on class participation, but no matter how hard I tried, the professor would never call on me. It wasn’t sexism, because he did call on the other women. I went to visit him during his office hours and he truly seemed never to have laid eyes on me before.
Once I got married, I assumed being with my husband would fix this. Wrong. He, too, suffers from it. We are 55-year-olds who drive nice cars and dress somewhat decently, yet we cannot get helped, served or waited on! As a result, when someone does ask us if they can help, we are so darn grateful I’m convinced we end up buying stuff we don’t even want.
Two weeks ago it was time to trade in my husband’s old Toyota, so off we went to Lou Fusz. As we walked around the lot, no one approached. We should have looked like terrific prospects, being a husband and wife choosing to spend Saturday at a car dealership.
I mean, who does that unless they’re serious? Out of nowhere, one guy approaches, James T. ‘Bones’ Donohue. He was juggling two other customers at the same time, but no matter, the next thing I knew we bought a new car. How did this happen? Well, he showed us we weren’t invisible—and every time I started whining about something—and we were there all day long—he took me to the vending machine for a snack. I must say (and these are words you won’t often hear), I had fun buying a new car.
Maybe once you start being visible, you stay visible? Nah, it’s more about the places we started going to. I now get my nails done at Clayton Nail Spa. For years, I went to St. Louis’ ‘best’ salons, weekly, and no one recognized me. But this place is like walking into Cheers, only without the booze. After the second visit, they knew my name. I was so astounded, I made my husband go get a mani-pedi.
So back to Mindy Kaling. I know exactly how she feels. I feel that way most days, but I now know there are places in town where somebody actually does know my name. And I hope my professor from all those years ago reads this.
»Speaking of being visible, Town&Style is on Instagram! Projects coordinator Anna Kaczkowski and I are now posting pictures and captions. Please follow us. I am always looking for feedback (mostly good) or suggestions for topics you would like covered. Email me at phannum@townandstyle.com .
[Patty Unleashed is a new column by Backtalk and I Tried It writer Patty Hannum, who has too much time on her hands and clearly needs something more to do.]
