She’s gone. This will be the fourth time I’ve written about my daughter leaving for college. Good news: it will be the last. Tess will graduate this spring from Tulane University. Carey and I have exactly one more tuition payment, and I would like to publicly thank those at Edward Jones, my former employer, who told me to start saving for my children’s education when they were just wee ones. It worked! She will graduate debt-free from the school of her choice. Well, she actually made two choices, but we don’t talk much about the first one since it didn’t work out.
Everyone thinks their child is special, maybe even gifted, but I never thought of either of mine as gifted. I know that’s an awful thing to admit, but neither was building robots or speaking Mandarin at age 3. Tess played the guitar for a little while, but the instructor never pulled me aside to say, “My lord, that girl has talent!” Jack was an outstanding soccer player, but he knew early on that a professional career was unlikely. His talent might have landed him on an indoor professional team, but in order to survive, those athletes usually have to work multiple jobs. I raised really practical kids and now, I’m wondering if I did the right thing as I send Tess off to her final year of college.
I mean, maybe I should have encouraged her to become a zookeeper or study fashion design, or pushed her harder to play the guitar. I wonder if I should have told Jack to go to Europe and attempt to be a major league soccer player instead of getting a great job, marrying a wonderful woman and buying his first house. Did I throw water on their dreams and make them practical people who, at the age of 40, will decide they have had enough and join a cult?
Even though my kids aren’t gifted, they are special. Tess spent the summer working as an intern and networking with people, some I knew and others I didn’t, in hopes of finding a job after graduation. And never once was I worried that she would say or do anything that would be embarrassing. She is a smart, well-spoken, considerate young woman who would be an asset to any firm that hires her. And the kid is funny—not as funny as her mom, but her humor is cutting. She is learning that sometimes when you want to cry from frustration, it is better to look at a situation with a sense of wonderment and humor and move on.
She is my joy. Jack had a more circuitous route to success with a major car accident thrown in his way, but he is the one that loves the most. He can see it in my eyes when I am getting a migraine, he can tell when I am missing my dad, and he always seems to know when he needs to drop by the house just to say hello. He always will be my beautiful ‘boy.’
So forgive this mother. Tess is gone, and I am crying. And I don’t cry. It’s just not me. My two children may not be gifted and I may have raised them to be practical, but both are oh so special, and I thank God every day that I get to be their mother.
Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.
