A friend of mine dresses way too young. Should I say something?
—Not Forever 21
[patty]
I could go either way on this one but since the purpose of this column is for me to give you my opinion, I’ll pick a side. First, I think many women do just the opposite of your friend. They dress too old. They shop at the ‘I Gave Up’ stores and clothe themselves in elastic-waist jeans with flowing tops and sensible shoes. The rule should be, if you can exercise in it, you can’t wear it out at night. So, no, I don’t think you should say something. I think you should appreciate that your friend is not only young in spirit but also in her clothing taste. And no, I am not writing this while wearing yoga pants but a pair of jeans that zip and are actually a bit too tight because of all the peanut M&M’s I keep eating.
[raschelle]
Usually the phrase ‘dresses too young’ means, “my friend is showing parts of her body that I’d rather not see.” And who can blame you, there are things about all of us that only our significant others need know about, and even that is sometimes pushing it. I think you have to say something, for the sake of us all, really. But you have to own it. You have to speak your truth. No more saying, “That’s where my daughters shop.” You have to say, “I’m nauseated by your sagging knees. I didn’t even know knees could sag until this very moment. Please don’t show them off in short skirts anymore.” Trust me, the problem will be solved. She’ll either take your advice or she’ll end the friendship—either way your embarrassment will end. Good luck!
My office building has a large bank of elevators but every morning someone dives into the elevator just as the door is closing, regardless of how crowded it is. Why do people do this? What should I say when they shove themselves in next to me?
—Stuck in the Middle
[patty]
Apparently you were left off the memo that listed the extremely important people who cannot wait. Actually, I have no idea why people do this. I, of course, don’t because I fear the elevator will continue to close and half of me will get caught on the outside, the other half on the inside and well, it won’t end well. As far as what to say, it depends on where you work. In some places the best reaction is no reaction. In others, a snide, “Goodness, are you late for brain surgery?” works. Unless of course you work at a hospital and then there’s a chance the answer could be yes. So who looks ridiculous now?
[raschelle]
Is talking to someone in an elevator actually allowed? I’ve never seen it happen. I’ve only witnessed lots of downcast eyes in an attempt to preserve some semblance of personal space. Do you know why? Because being in an elevator is supremely awkward. And we owe it to each other to help alleviate that awkwardness, not add to it. So the next time this happens, I encourage you to say nothing. Keep your peace, and your space. If someone is willing to risk life and limb to board the elevator just assume they really need to be somewhere, fast.
[Patty Hannum loves to shop with friends and give them her opinion on their clothing choices, even if they don’t want it. Raschelle Burton often pushes the ‘close door’ button on elevators so she can ride in peace.]
