Patty Unleashed

Patty Unleashed: 4.7.21

I was washing (or ‘warshing’ for native St. Louisans) my hair the other day and thought, “It hasn’t been this long since college!” I look very much like an aging hippie these days. I stopped cutting my hair about two years ago, and it’s been a long time since the gray has been covered. What flashed to mind was a comment a former college friend made to me freshman year. Jill Stone is her name. (Yes, I am identifying her as the offense was so grievous; plus, she moved away sophomore year.) During a conversation, she said, “It must be hard for you to get a date.”

Now, there could be a variety of reasons Jill was spot-on with this analysis. I had just graduated from an all-girls high school, so my social skills were not that great. I didn’t know how to flirt; I made too much of an effort. I thought the best way to impress the guys was to be able to match them beer for beer or laugh so hard I would snort. And finally, I could be a bit of a stalker before the word was really used. You could say I was a real charmer. So, I meekly asked what she meant. Jill replied, “Oh, guys don’t like to date girls with red hair.” I was stunned, flabbergasted, flummoxed … well, you get it.

It is not to say I was unaware of the color of my hair. I had been called red and carrot top, and three of my four brothers loved to recite the lovely little ditty, ‘I’d rather be dead than red in the head.’ One brother had red hair, so he didn’t participate. Two of those brothers are now bald, and the other has six red-headed grandchildren. Karma. Jill’s comment made me wonder if this information could be true. My hair color was why I couldn’t get dates? No way! There were far too many other reasons.

So, I finally did some research, and it is true—at least for men. Many would rather date a brunette or blonde 88% of the time. Now, redheads are only about 2% of the population, and redheads with green eyes, which is what I am, are even fewer, so wouldn’t you think men would see women like me as unicorns? The study I reviewed in Psychology Studies (which could be the National Enquirer of research as far as I know) said redheads are perceived to be the most temperamental, least shy, most sexually promiscuous and most competent. Please reread that list. If you are a man and you are trying to figure out who to approach, why wouldn’t you talk to a redhead first? If not, screw you … and apparently, since I am a redhead, I would. I’m kidding. I’ve been married forever. Wonder if this will make it in the paper or get edited out?

Enough about redheads. I have two invitations for you:

1. I will feature one book each month by a St. Louis author in my Hooked On Books column. Send me an email and tell me how to get your book. It may take me awhile to get to it, but it’s important that we support our local authors!

2. I thought it would be fun to do a question and answer column. You provide the questions, and I’ll provide the answers. So, what do you want to know? You know I like to share!

Peace, my peeps.

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