Something to try: I had to lay off exercising after a nasty spill that resulted in a torn bicep tendon and subsequent surgery. Once I healed, I jumped back into my workout routine a little too enthusiastically. I had muscle aches in places I didn’t know existed. ‘Creaky’ was the word that came to mind each morning when I woke up. I needed to do something besides pop Advil. And, well, that’s how I found myself face down on a massage table in Creve Coeur, having suction cups placed all over my back by Yue Ma of Yue Ma Massage.
I’ve been fascinated by the concept of cupping since Gwyneth Paltrow appeared in People magazine with circular marks all over her back after doing it. This past summer, I noticed all the Olympic swimmers had the same marks. So if Michael Phelps and my pal Gwyn have been doing it, well, that’s good enough for me. Cupping is an ancient form of alternative medicine for help with pain, inflammation and blood flow. It provides a deep tissue massage. Hey, it’s a way to unknot your muscles!
Yue Ma placed five or six suction cups all over my back. While they did their ‘magic,’ she massaged my aching legs and arms. Can you say re-laaaa-xed? I can’t tell you how long any of this took because I was transported to my happy place, and was sad when she said I was all done. That night I decided to forego the Advil PM for my aching body and slept like a baby. Seriously. The next day, my creaks were more muffled, and I just felt better. I need to go back for another session because as I type, I can feel my neck tightening. Oh, and not a mark was left on my back.
Something to report: The call came while I was in New Orleans. ‘Pat, this is your brother Dennis. Call off the hit. The gnome has been found.’ If you read last week’s column, you know what I’m talking about. If not, please take a look at last week’s issue. Yes, I had a suspect in mind for the theft of the gnome. But no, I did not issue a ‘hit,’ nor do I even know anyone who can execute a ‘hit’ (assuming such people exist). The good news is, the gnome has been found. The thief was actually a member of the family. While cleaning out my mom’s house, my nephew’s daughter noticed the gnome and well, loved it. We had told people to take whatever they wanted, so they did. Dennis saw the gnome when my nephew brought it into his shop to reattach his hand. (No, it was not cut off in some bizarre ransom plot but rather broken during transport to its new home.) I received photographic proof of the gnome’s well-being and am happy to report he is adapting well to his new environment. And yes, I did spend far too much time trying to solve this mystery and accusing innocent people. And no, this isn’t likely to make me less judgmental. It’s just the way I am. So, while the gnome didn’t phone home, he does have a new home.
Something to watch: Season 3 of The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is now on Netflix, featuring St. Louis’ favorite redhead, Ellie Kemper. If you need a chuckle, watch it and, like me, ponder why someone doesn’t come out with a fashion line based on Kimmy’s clothing choices.
Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.
