Patty Unleashed

Patty Unleashed: 9.22.21

It is hard for me to write this column because the title implies I will honestly tell you what is on my mind. In reality, you come here to get a laugh or two—you really don’t want a heavy opinion piece. That’s why you read The Wall Street Journal or The New York Times. (If you only get your news from Facebook, stop it now! There is still a chance you can still save some brain cells.) This week, however, my brain broke. Yes, broke. I don’t know how else to explain the eight hour crying jag I had.

First, I am not a crier. Sure, my eyes water at certain scenes in a movie or the occasional commercial, but I don’t cry much less sob. For those of you thinking oh, she is just a menopausal woman with hormones, I am so far past that stage that I don’t have any hormones left in my body. (Oh, and for anyone who attributes the tears of a woman to hormones, stand down. The monthly gyration of hormones in a woman’s body should become a new defense for murder: ‘I was just trying to sleep and he kept snoring.’) So, what prompted the full- blown snot-filled water works? I have a list: the pandemic, hurricane, flooding, wild-fires, Texas, teachers in Florida dying from COVID-19, Afghanistan, hmm, oh and one of our senators from the great state of Missouri. Throw in a few personal issues and KABAM! I really was like one of those cartoon bombs; once detonated, bits of me were all over the place. No one or nothing could help. My husband tried. My friends tried. But then I just stopped crying, and it was over.

The next day, I picked up two lifelong friends. We were going on an adventure, which meant we were driving past the intersection of Highway 44 and 270. I tried to explain what happened. It was hard to put into words so I just said ‘my brain broke.’ We ended up at Cliff Cave Park, which butts up to the Mississippi River. You could literally walk into the untamed Mississippi if you wanted to. For some reason, it was so peaceful being close to something that can cause so much damage. It reminded me that I have control over so few things in my life, which is why I think my brain broke.

I came home and made some financial contributions to organizations that could help those in need and others that work for changing laws I object to. I wrote a few emails to organizations and elected officials. I tweeted a few pointed replies to elected officials I disagreed with. I talked to a few friends about how to have a bigger impact on other issues. I babysat my grandson who was sick and then took comfort in … Australian TV. I tell you it is better than any booze you can drink or medical marijuana you can smoke! Here are some shows to look for on your streaming services: The Heart Guy, Jack Irish, Five Bedrooms, Offspring or Rake. Watch one and tell me that everything doesn’t seem to get just a little bit better when every person has the most beautiful accent and says things like ‘bugger off.’ Seriously.

Then, on Saturday, I got a call from a friend. Her brain broke on Friday. It is hard, but we will get through it. Peace my Peeps.

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