[brentwood]
Smart phones are, well, pretty smart most of the time. Usually it’s the users who suffer from an IQ deficiency. It should go without saying—although, sigh, it doesn’t—that sensitive electronic devices might not operate well after frequent dropping. And they may really start acting funky in extreme cold. Electronics experts in Brentwood and elsewhere note that many phones aren’t guaranteed to operate in temperatures below freezing; others may go a bit below zero before they malfunction. Parts or fluids may contract, affecting operation. Condensation may be a factor, and can occur when taking an electronic device out of room temperature into colder temps, and vice-versa. If you’ve just spent eight hours or so in warmth and comfort, have mercy on a phone that just spent the same amount of time inside a very cold car. I am going somewhere with this … As electronics become more sophisticated, so can they become a source of embarrassment; e.g., the ‘butt dial’ made by someone sitting on their phone, usually unbeknownst to them. Or, say, the wedding disc jockey with a state-of-the-art mp3 player who cued up The Way You Look Tonight for the bride and her father’s dance, only to have the racy Baby Got Back start playing instead.
[chesterfield]
Although it doesn’t include a real tree, the whimsical structure in far-west Chesterfield looks like it was relocated from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Middle Earth. The odd structure near a vacant lot next to an art gallery couldn’t be called anything but a tree house. Yet all the right angles are wrong—well, let’s just call them ‘creative.’ There don’t appear to be any straight lines or level surfaces anywhere, which makes its Hobbitification complete. As though imagined by an animator, not an architect, it’s smaller at the bottom than the top. Its roof bows. The windows aren’t square, and the planters beneath them are tilted. Its ‘tree stump’ base is hollow, and at first glance, looks real … kind of. It would have been fun to photograph the kids’ playhouse covered by a foot of snow, but that would have necessitated a hazardous drive over mostly uncleared roads in subzero temperatures just about as far west in Chesterfield as you can go last week. The treehouse is just south of Chesterfield Airport Road about a halfmile east of Premium Outlets, and who in St. Louis hasn’t been out there yet, at least twice?
[glendale]
All 10 ‘best places to live’ in Missouri, as ranked by Movoto Real Estate, fall within the metro area, with the square mile or so that is Glendale ranked No. 1. The No. 2 spot, held by Town & Country, might just resurrect an ad slogan from decades ago, ‘We try harder.’ Ladue is No. 3. More on the other rankings in a moment. For now, read on, grumble later. Movoto, a national company that has released similar studies in Michigan, New Jersey and North Carolina, cites these criteria: cost of living, crime rate, high school diplomas, median household income, median home value, median rent price and unemployment rate. Notably, neither area nor population figures into Movato’s calculations, which to some statisticians or data tweakers might be significant. The population of expansive Chesterfield (No. 5) is more
than 47,000, while tiny Glendale has only 6,000-some residents. (The cut-off point was 5,000.) OK, we’re not going to stop with four of the top five. No. 4 is Wildwood, No. 6 Creve Coeur, No. 7 is Dardenne Prairie in St. Charles County, No. 8 Clayton, No. 9 Ballwin, and No. 10 Manchester. Let the griping about who fell where begin. Hey, where’s Kirkwood? Or Webster Groves? Why didn’t (Insert City Name Here) make this list? Never heard of these Movoto people—just who the heck do they think they are?
[kirkwood]
Kids had already enjoyed nearly three weeks off school on winter break when Snowpocalypse 2014 blew in, giving them two snow days that were too frigid for most anyone to engage in winter frolic. But you can’t blame all the following area-wide wackiness and wonderment on cabin fever, because some of it happened before snow got up to our knees out there: On the Sunday that nearly a foot of snow started falling, a Kirkwood man donned shorts and a T-shirt before venturing out to hit a few golf balls that neither he nor anyone else will be able to find until … spring? But then it plunged below zero. When a day of movies for a college-age man and his female friends devolved into arts and crafts, he gamely knitted himself a hat. People threw pots of boiling water into the sub-zero air to watch it transform immediately into millions of minuscule ice crystals. When a pickup driver got stuck after her tire topped a concrete curb concealed by a drift, two other drivers joined a man waiting for the bus and a server who ran out of a nearby restaurant to push the vehicle free. Back in Kirkwood, a mobile mechanic spent most of Monday doing the same—he and his girlfriend patrolled the area and stopped to help anyone who looked like they needed a hand or two to get going. For free. Sometimes it has to get really, really cold for tidbits like these to warm you up.
[ladue]
Coyotes are to blame for about a half-dozen attacks on small dogs in and around Ladue. The wild canines have entered their mating season, which prompted the Humane Society to issue an alert for the St. Louis area. Cats should be brought in at night, and pet food should not be left outside. Nor should designer shoes. A salesman at Saks reports a bemused customer brought in one barely recognizable maroon Prada slingback that had been gnawed to pieces, along with its mate, most of the box and the FedEx wrapper.
[o’fallon]
We haven’t featured a head-scratching story about a knucklehead since last year, so here’s one in time for this year’s second edition: A moped-riding, rock-throwing, swimming-pool-draining cop evader. This numbskull … er, knucklehead … was just given a suspended sentence and probation for behavior last June that defies explanation (cops say the reason is unclear) and causes one to wonder whether alcohol was involved. (It wasn’t indicated.) The miscreant was arrested after riding around on a moped behind an O’Fallon homeowner’s yard, then frightening the owner by throwing large rocks over the privacy fence. He then climbed over and managed to pull the plug on the swimming pool, and by the time cops arrived, the level had dropped several inches. No irreversible harm so far. But his real trouble began after a cop fell down while chasing him, requiring stitches in his knee. The knucklehead was charged with felony assault (eliciting a five-year suspended sentence) to go with a handful of misdemeanors (probation). At least he was 25, which meant he could drink legally. Oops; alcohol wasn’t mentioned … except here. Twice. My bad.
[saint louis]
As a lurid lawsuit against the Archdiocese of St. Louis grinds through the judicial system, a recent appeals-court ruling holds that the archdiocese may—for now—keep under wraps the names of priests and other church workers accused of abuse over the last two decades. The woman who filed the lawsuit claims she was abused starting when she was 5; the priest had been reassigned to her parish after his conviction for sexually assaulting an 11-year-old boy elsewhere. SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) asserts Archbishop Robert Carlson should have released the names long ago, as many high-ranking church leaders in other cities have done. The circuit judge who had given the archdiocese a deadline of Jan. 3 to comply with a court order demanding the list be released stated that church authorities were close to being in contempt of court, if not there already. However, the higher court’s ruling did not specify further action nor set a deadline regarding the list.
[webster groves]
Officials of Webster Groves schools have ventured into the area-wide fray that, after a fashion, pits public education against nonprofit health care. An attorney for the district in a letter has asked the county tax assessor to look into the tax-exempt status of Bethesda Orchard, a retirement community at 21 N. Big Bend Blvd. The facility’s status was supposed to have been reviewed, the letter alleges, but apparently has not been. Other districts have had similar frustrations, most recently Kirkwood with Aberdeen Heights, a senior complex that is more about an elegant life of luxury than longterm care, the exasperated school board president has exclaimed. Meanwhile, Parkway officials may challenge the status of a high-end facility in the district. At many of the facilities in question, ‘entry’ fees for would-be residents can run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. Executive salaries are not middling, either, and perks may include country club memberships. Yet tax-exempt status is, according to state law, only to be bestowed on charitable institutions. Well, many of these healthcare organizations have the backing of one church denomination or another, which makes a gray area even grayer. Bottom line: Churches are tax-exempt, and school districts, by and large, operate on property tax monies. We’ll keep tabs on these developments.
By Bill Beggs Jr.
