We’ve all seen the little plaques on park benches, but do you read them? You know, the ones placed as a tribute or memorial to a loved one. You probably think how nice it is and keep going. But Jack Ciapciak, a 32-year-old New York based television writer, thought it was a great way to ask his boyfriend, Jack Lorentzen, to marry him. The bench was by their apartment near the Hudson River. So, on went the plaque: “Jack, will you marry me? Love Jack.”
The two Jacks were getting married, their families were thrilled, and a date was chosen—time to begin the next chapter! Unfortunately, while they were in St. Louis over Christmas, the unthinkable happened: Jack Lorentzen died. I think the world stopped that day. How could this happen? As a friend of the family, dropping off a lasagna was not going to cut it. But then again, could I say or do anything to bring comfort to their families?
Jack Ciapciak and his family pulled together a celebration of life to honor Jack Lorentzen in St. Louis. And to be honest, life moved forward for all of us—except for the families. Jack Ciapciak started sharing his thoughts on TikTok about his life with Jack. People were moved by their story, and it quickly went viral, having been shared with more than 28 million people. I wanted a chance to write about their story because while it may be especially sad, it’s also very beautiful. So, Jack agreed to talk to a nosy friend.
Was there any doubt Jack might say no?
We’d been together for almost seven years and lived together for six. Thankfully, I was confident he was committed and would say yes! We had a conversation about six months prior where I told him I wanted to be the one to propose, and he agreed. So, he knew it was coming, but not when or how!
Is it true you were set up by two women named Kate?
Yes! My friend from St. Louis, Kate Rouse, attended Lehigh University with Jack. After college, Kate and I were both living in New York, and she brought a friend from Lehigh named Kate Novick to my 23rd birthday party. Kate Novick was close with Jack and mentioned him to me that night. They gave him my number, and a week later, we went on our first date!
When did you realize your videos were going viral?
I was in London with a friend and put up the post about the bench before going to bed. I woke up the next morning and saw my phone was blowing up. That’s when I knew!
Do you mind if random people sit on the bench?
I love it more than anything! The fact that so many people are taking time out of their lives to visit the bench and honor Jack means so much to me. It’s been so comforting and has truly made me feel less alone in my grief.
What do you want people to know about Jack?
That he lived life to the fullest. He didn’t waste a second. Looking back, it’s as if he knew his time on earth would be short because he made the most of every day. Life was an adventure by his side, and I’m doing my best to honor him by living how he did and trying to make the most of each day.
You were on The Drew Barrymore show when you revealed the permanent plaque to honor Jack. It features a quote from her movie Never Been Kissed: “Find out who you are and try not to be afraid of it.” First, did Drew really get that tattooed on her arm? Second, is she as adorable in person as she comes across on television?
Yes! She was already planning to get a tattoo of the word “time” on her arm, but when she spoke to me and heard how Jack lived his life, she asked if she could dedicate the tattoo to him. It was unbelievable. She’s the real deal. So genuine and warm. Being with her reminded me of Jack. Like him, her presence felt like a warm hug!
Follow Jack C. on TikTok or Instagram where he continues to talk about Jack L. and the lives we are all so fortunate to have. Peace my Peeps.
Pictured at top: Jack Lorentzen and Jack Ciapciak
