I am now at the age when my friends are starting to have grandchildren, and every lunch includes pictures. Some of these kids are not that attractive, and then you find out their parents also have given them ridiculous names. What is a proper response when your friend asks what you think of their latest grandchild?
—Truth Teller
[patty]
OK, I will be honest. Most babies do look like space aliens unless they are yours. I have two attractive children, but when I look at their newborn pictures, yikes! Concerning names, I have a large extended family and I am often perplexed at the names bestowed upon my great-nieces and -nephews. I can’t spell them, much less pronounce them correctly. But it is none of my business. So what you say is: “How wonderful that you have a healthy grandchild. Aren’t you lucky? She is amazing.” And once you become a grandmother, I guarantee you will understand.
[raschelle]
I can’t speak to ugly babies because I have never seen one. But l I grew up in Omaha, Nebraska, as Raschelle Majda Serghini, so I know a thing or two about weird names (although it was the ‘70s, so we called them unique names). I was tormented and teased and forever spelling and pronouncing my name for people—plus I had a lisp (but that’s another story for another time). I had it a lot easier than my brother Omar and a little worse than my other brother Philip, but we all turned out to be successful, happy adults—never mind why my eye is twitching. I didn’t meet another ‘Rachelle’ until I was in my 40s and now two of my very best friends are named Rachelle (notice that my name is now spelled wrong). Bottom line: let them name the kids whatever they feel like naming them. Our names are not our destiny.
I recently gained weight and twice in the past week people have asked me “when am I due?” I know I need to lose weight, but what should I say when people ask me this embarrassing question?
— A Little Chubby
[patty]
I am one of those people who is constantly stepping ‘into it.’ I have asked people how old their daughter is, only to be told she is their wife. I have mistaken parents for grandparents, brothers and sisters for married couples and non-pregnant women for pregnant women. I should not be allowed in any social circles with all my faux pas. An “I am not pregnant” is all you need to say. “We” will slink away and wonder where we should go hide to prevent offending anyone else. We are idiots.
[raschelle]
I say just go with it, toss out a due date. Imagine the rumors that will ensue. I’m not kidding, but before you do that let me tell a long story. Years ago, on a hot June day, I was in an elevator with my beloved boss who loved people and being in-the-know about people. Plus, he was a bit of a showoff about it all. On that day, a woman got on the elevator with us and he said, in his loudest outside voice, “Hey! When’s that baby due?” She smiled and said, “He was born in January.” We all just stood there, staring at our shoes, and endured the longest elevator ride EVER! Why do I tell you this story? Well because I’m just saying sometimes it isn’t about you and whatever it is that is making you feel insecure. Sometimes it’s the other person’s needs that drive a behavior. So show these people a lot of grace; they’re just trying to connect with other people. If you can’t show them grace, then smack them with a snide comment and enjoy admiring everyone’s shoes.
>> Patty Hannum suggests when naming your child you also consider their initials. Monogramming can sometimes be embarrassing otherwise.
>> Raschelle Burton married for the last name
