Patty Unleashed

Patty Unleashed: 1.8.20

There needs to be a gossip column called Heard in the Chair. Hair stylists across St. Louis, actually across the country, know more about their clients than anyone else, including their therapists. As you know, I am a true crime aficionado, and whenever there is a case involving a woman, I always wonder why the police don’t visit her hair stylist. The stuff they could reveal without a subpoena!

I faithfully go every six weeks to see Amanda at Naturally Pure in Webster Groves for a color and cut. We have been together 20 years, longer than some marriages. She has seen me through both of my parents’ deaths, and I have seen her through some really bizarre accidents that resulted in broken bones. During our 2 hours together, we talk about everything. No filter. It’s like going to confession but without the penance.

Anyway, since I’ve let my hair grow longer, I also now see Allison at Blown Away in Colonial Marketplace for blowouts. I know what you’re thinking: Can’t I wash my own damn hair? The answer is yes, but those two blowouts a week make me feel so happy, it’s worth every cent. Unlike other things I could do to look better, you know, like a touch of filler, a little Botox, some microdermabrasion, a chemical peel (you get my drift), the shampoo and blow dry actually feel good. I also don’t have to fib to my husband as to why my face is puffy. I like going to both of these salons because they are locally owned by women, just like Town&Style.

These past few years, well, since my year of ‘yes,’ I’ve backed off making any new friends. My migraines make me unreliable, I am afraid to discuss politics and let’s just say, I am a wee bit cranky. So I surprised myself one day a few months ago as Allison was drying my hair. We were discussing true crime TV shows (yes, I found a kindred spirit), and she told me about CrimeCon. It’s exactly what you think it sounds like: a large conference with other true crime fanatics. I immediately demanded that we go. This year it’s in Orlando, and the stars of our favorite shows (like Keith Morrison from Dateline), authors of our favorite books, podcast celebrities, crime investigators and people involved with the nonprofit Innocence Project will be there. If you are thinking nerd fest, you are correct. Allison thought I was kidding when I asked if we could add on a day to go to Disney World because no one in my family will go with me. We also had to include Michaela who used to do my hair because she, too, is a fanatic. The next thing you know, these two 30-somethings are going to Disney World and CrimeCon with a 60-year-old woman who just happened to sit in their chair and start talking. If that’s not karma, I don’t know what is!

So what’s my point? In this new year, be open to making new friends in weird ways. Shop locally. You have a choice, and I know that when I walk into Blown Away a little grumpy, I’m not going to leave that way. (I’d leave happier if the owner, J.J. Krane, would give me the senior discount, but I’m still too young. J.J. will give anyone who mentions this column a travel-size hair product though!) And let’s all be thankful there isn’t a gossip column called Heard in the Chair … especially me!

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