Several years ago, one of my son’s college-aged friends broke up with his girlfriend. I, feeling the need to be in everyone else’s business, asked why. “I don’t know; I think she cared too much.” At first, I was somewhat perplexed as to why that should be a problem. I realized, after a brief conversation, that when one person is more committed than another, well that imbalance in the relationship was just too much for someone to take on at their age. He did not have the words to say, “You’re bugging me,” but he did have the words to say, “I am not interested anymore.” So, this little memory popping into my head caused me to pause and think about all the small things I perhaps care too much about.
Let us start with the trivial. It’s almost embarrassing to say I care too much about my hair. Because of the way my mind works, I get fixated on lots of things, including my hair. About two years ago, I started on a new medicine that caused some hair loss. I cried, “I am going bald.” I asked Google how many hairs a person should lose in a day. It said 10—or maybe 50—I don’t really remember which, but I started counting the strands coming out of my comb. I would be bald by summer at this rate! I tried to explain to my balding husband why this was an issue, but he just gave me the stare. The one that says “you better stop this nonsense before it spreads to the kids.” I started taking vitamins that promote hair growth. They actually worked, and the next thing you know, my problem was solved. But I cared too much. It didn’t deserve the attention I gave it.
I am a fast texter. If someone texts me, I text them back immediately. Most people seem to be the same way, but not everyone is as attached to their phone as I am. If it was important information I needed to pass along, I would have picked up the phone and called. Still, I stew. What could they possibly have to do that’s more important than responding to my snarky text? Oh, I don’t know, perhaps they are taking a shower, actually have work to do or didn’t find my text nearly as funny as I thought it was. I cared too much. I cannot yet control the world, but I try.
I am also a fast RSVP person. Anything that requires a written acceptance gets one from me pronto! That’s not the case for everyone. Some people actually check with their spouse or look at their calendar before replying. Not me. I like to be invited to things—actually, that is totally untrue. I would rather lie in my bed and watch Hallmark Christmas movies. Why not think about the invitation and check in with your other half or, at the very least, your calendar?
So this year when people asked what my new year’s resolution is I was honest. I am going to start caring less. Well at least, that’s what I am typing, but I don’t really mean it. Peace my Peeps.
