I turn my columns in a full two weeks before they are published. That might surprise you, but since I’m not a writer, my  editor Karyn needs time to make my word salad readable. As a result, I often wish I could take back an article just about the time it goes to print. Which is what happened with my last one. To remind you of the content, it encouraged you to help kids who are graduating find a job by meeting them for coffee, giving them a lead or offering them encouragement. In summary, I was suggesting you just be a good person. As you read it, I’m sure you thought, “Where has she been?” Because apparently, the only way to get ahead in the world is to bribe your way into the right college or get someone else to take your child’s SAT or ACT. You must have thought my suggestions were so quaint and Midwestern!

I first learned about the scandal when my son Jack called: “Mom, I guess you didn’t love me enough to bribe someone to let me into Harvard.” Now, this is from the kid who decided he wanted to go to Arizona State University because the weather was perfect, the campus was big, and everyone looked like they could be models. It is also the same university that one of the families caught up in the bribery scandal deemed not worthy for their child. Uh oh! All I can say is that I am not under arrest for bribery, I didn’t pay a university $500,000 to give my child a rowing scholarship (even though he had never rowed), and as far as public humiliation, well, I only do that in this column every so often. By the way, my son currently is employed, as is his wife, another ASU graduate. Yes, I did not love him enough to bribe anyone because I knew he could do it all on his own.

The latest scandal also included cheating on the SATs and ACTs. Students who get extended time due to learning issues don’t test in the same classroom as everyone else. And depending on their challenge, they are given more time or whatever else they might need. I am familiar with the process since one of my children had accommodations for a few years.

My daughter calls: “Mom, I am reading the indictment, and I’m on page 46. Can you believe these kids who had extended time for the SAT had their answers changed by the proctor? They didn’t even know what was going on!” I agreed with her that it was sad. And then she reminded me that I paid a tutor to prepare her for the SAT, but he thought he was preparing her for the PSAT. It wasn’t until a week before the test when he realized the mistake. So even when I tried to help, I didn’t. Tess graduates in two months, and she has a job lined up in Chicago.

I often am surprised that my kids turned out better than OK with Carey and me as parents since we were clueless most of the time. They both received lots of love, encouragement and support, and it never occurred to me they would need anything more than that to succeed. (And I don’t have $500,000 for a bribe.) So, I stand by my last column. Help someone who is looking for a job. Even if it makes you oh so Midwestern.

Contact Patty at phannum@townandstyle.com.